I am going crazy here!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
I am going crazy here!?
2
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 11:53pm

hi everyone,

these last few days have been really rough, I am trying to hold all my anger towards my husband in but its driving me crazy!! I went and seen my counseller for the first time on monday and that was nice, she really helped me understand why he does all of this, but it seems the more power and strength i get, the more i just want to pack up and leave, which money wise i cannot. I am starting to read books and see how he is really been treating me, and it makes me sooo mad!!!!!

I find myself just picking fights with him just cause i want to scream at him, its so hard to keep all this under wraps for another couple months, while i hide away money. I think he is starting to clue in to me because he looks at me like im going crazy and might be thinking that i am getting power back, which he does not like.

For example, today we were talking and he said something like "oh im gonna smack your ass" (jokin) and i said YEAH WELL ITS NOT LIKE YOU HAVENT HIT ME BEFORE, and he comes over to me acting all sweet and says, oh hunny, you hit me first.UGH!.when i look at him i just want to smack him, i dont want to even touch him . How do i pretend to love someone i hate so much ....How do i keep this all in!?!?!




Edited 1/11/2005 11:56 pm ET ET by iv_skorpio
Avatar for itsgoodtobeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 12:18am
Switch the focus. Don't focus so much on him and more on you. Take that anger and use it. You will need it when you go. If these guys couldn't say anthing or do anthing right while they were with us they will try to do it all when we go. That anger will feed you to stay away. It will keep you strong. Take that engery and put it into the plan. Take it and put it into the future dream where life has peace and the dark clouds are gone. When he tries to start something just let it go and think all too soon I won't have to deal with you at all. Stay safe and becareful and keep you eye on the prize your life. HUGS and Prayers dear.>Jo
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 8:36pm
thank you so much, i will try to keep my focus