I Am Leaving Him

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
I Am Leaving Him
2
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 10:34am
Well...my mind is made up and I actually have no choice with all of this. I am leaving him. Monday night he wanted to talk about what happened Thursday. He apologized for slapping me but I do not beleive it was real. He wasn't sympathetic to me at all...he actually told me that him slapping me is now making him doubt that he has ever loved me at all, because he wouldn't do that to someone he loves. He disrespects me constantly...that has to mean he doesn't love me. Monday night I taped our conversation. He found the tape, tore it up in my face and I retaliated. I grabbed his wallet. He grabbed it from me and pushed me to the floor. I than said I was going to break his labtop, before I could get out the door, he threw me into the wall mirror and it shattered cutting my foot and leaving my arms with scratches. Then he grabbed his computer, and pushed me through the screen door of the house where I landed the wrong way on the concrete, now giving me over 5 different bruises on my body. It want from Thursday slapping me, to Monday actually abusing me. This man is sick, never truley loved me and now is making my life a living hell. He got arrested Monday night and his friends immediatly took his side. They saw what he did with evidence of the shattered mirror and the broken screen door. All they did was say that he should've stop dealing with me months ago. The other friend said that I provoked him cuz I was recording the conversation. I recorded the conversation for my own good, it was something suggested to me by my mother. All in all...his friends and maybe even family think that I am no good and if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have turned into such a violent person. I had to take off of work yesterday because I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I am now seeing a counselor at the center for abused persons.

I am confused, hurt, angry and depressed. Last night he locked up the computer so I couldn't use it. I found away to get into the computer anyway so he basically unplugged everything and took it with him to where he's staying. He then threw a letter in my face saying I had 30 days to get out or legal action was going to be taken. He then said he was going to shut off my cell phone since it was in his name. I am the mother of his firstborn son and this is the way I'm being treated. I'm being treated like a peice of sh*t. Not only does he not care for me anymore, but he doesn't care about these 2 kids. He isn't saying "YOU get out and let me keep the kids." If they go, I go. I wouldn't have it any other way...but just to see him to care one day and be such a cold hearted evil person is hard for me to beleive.

The abuse did happen again, and now I am leaving. While I'm still there he is staying at a friends house. I am not afraid of him, nor am I allowing his "retaliation tactics" to hurt me. I will say ok, prove to him that I don't need him and move out within the time given to me with my 2 children, file for child support and live my life without him.

I do have this big question in my heart and mind - Is it actually over? I loved the man before all this happened, and I still do. Give it a year or 2 and what do I do if he wants to try it again?



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: qpid_143
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:33pm

Hi qpid and welcome -


NO!

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
In reply to: qpid_143
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 1:42am

I'm so glad that you are going to counseling.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you