I am new to the board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
I am new to the board
4
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 10:59am
Hi My name is Amy and I am in an abusive relationship. I feel totally helpless and useless. I have been with this man for almost 8 years and we have 2 children together. It seems that I am on a roller coaster of emotions and events with him. One minute he is happy and sweet and the next he is yelling and hitting things and comes really close to me like he is about to hit me. He has hit me in the past. He has gone to jail twice for abusing me and somehow sweet talks me into going back to him. Things go good for awhile then the cycle starts all over again. It starts off with the verbal abuse and then he starts hitting things in the house and then I get hit. I have not yet been hit but he is constantly telling me when he gets angry that he will kill me. He has taken out a knife a brought it near me. One night he actually did go to stab me and his brother jumped on him and held him down so I could go in the other room and he could calm down. I know I need to get out of this relationship for me and my kids I just don't see how to break away for good. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 1:27pm

Hi hon, welcome -


800-799-SAFE (7233)


This is the number for the National DV hotline.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 10:41pm
hi and welcome to the board, you will find it to be a lifesaver. I too am in a abusive marrige, and it took me 5 yrs to get it out, to quit lieing to myself, but sweetie you have to find your power and strength and get out, before he really, really hurts you. You have to save yourself and your family. Maybe go to a counseller and talk with him.her about it also, and start a plan. Just remember we are all here for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 11:48pm
Thank you very much. I ma glad to know that I have someone that understands what I am going through. All my friends don't have a clue. They see him as a "nice Guy". Even though they have been here for some of the fights. I am trying my best to make a plan to get out with out him getting mad or wise to what I am doing. The one thing I have not mentioned is that I am on section 8 and he is not even suppose to be in the house. So it hurts me to lose everything I have worked so hard for.
Avatar for sweet_angel21
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-15-2005 - 1:28am

Hi Amy-

Yeah you need to listen to what the others have said and form a plan, it sounds like you are in a Lot of danger. I too know how it feels. I was in an abusive relationship for three years...That may not be a long time, but to me it was. It took me many times of breaking up with him to finally break up with him for good. We never had a kid together, but almost did. We haven't been together for about a year and a half and I still am not completely over him. I haven't posted here in over a year I think...I did post a few months ago and gave an update of myself but never got to read it.

All I can say is I really hope you do get out of that relationship--not only for you but your two children. When I was in my relationship, posting on this board REALLY helped me, I think thats the way I broke up with him for good, I still had to post and make connections with other people on here to not go back though. It really helps to post on here and read other womens' posts...

@->-- sweet angel