I am so angry!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
I am so angry!!
1
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 10:19pm

So just to update, I have been staying in the house with my daughter and he has not been coming around at all - totally keeping his distance at least physically. I think he is afraid if he crosses the line I will call the cops, file legal papers, etc.

But I have talked to him on the phone. We share a baby and it seems really hard to not talk to him. (I did order the book suggested by the way). I am so angry - raging really. My life used to be so different. Really different. I have been to 25 countries. I loved taking all kinds of classes - acting, yoga, dance, etc. I really liked surfing and trapezing and rock climbing and I could go on and on. But since I had the baby he never took responsibility at all for helping with any kind of child care. He couldn't commit to watching her at a certain time so I could do something, he would not help me find babysitters (this is where he grew up and I moved here for him). Basically I was like a prisoner and there must have been a part of him that liked that.

Now I just feel so angry and so worn down. I don't have family anywhere near me to help with the baby. Clearly I have to start finding babysitters and a life! I really feel like I hate him so much - I am filled with rage. Please don't suggest conseling I am in the process of doing that - I think I really needed to vent. And he keeps having the nerve to suggest that we do fun things together - go away, etc. His birthday is coming up and I am planning on maybe not even being around. We used to go to Salem every year for Halloween and I am thinking of just going myself with my daughter and saying nothing about it. I know that would be hurtful to him, but he doesn't seem to care how much he has hurt me. Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
In reply to: sam_us
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 11:32pm

Hi.

Just wanted to reply. I won't suggest anything but to vent as much as you want. That is what this board is here for. It does really help just to get the feelings out.

I am glad that you bought the book. I cried a lot when I was reading it. A lot of the book was so much like my abuser - I thought I was reading about him.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Hugs. Lauren

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