I am so confused. dont know what's next

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
I am so confused. dont know what's next
4
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 11:57am
Well, where to start. I am 21 and have been married to my husband for almost 2 years and it has been the most unhappy I've ever encountered. A little about my past. I was raped and molested as a very small child(practically was an infant)by my step dad. he abused my mom and my two brothers for a while but he rarely ever touched me in anger he would talk to me like nothing was wrong but when he was drinking it was all different. well a little more about my past. I have been pregnant 3 times and have miscarried 3 times becuase of the stress caused by my husband. because of my past i fear that i am not the only one being abused in my marriage i fear that i am also responsible for alot of fear and pain. he is so nice to everybody but when he would come home to me he would change instantly and i would do the same. he has never been abused in any way before but i have been severely abused. most of the stuff that was posted for the warning sign he and i display most of them to some degree. i dont know what to do because i fear that things will get worse because he has already tried to slit my wrists and busted down the bathroom door to get to me only to tell me that he was going to kill himself. and he has also threw a knife at my head and said that he was trying to get it away from him as he sat there slicing his finger open on purpose and he said that becuase i cheated on him he was going to kill me. well a little tidbit about my personality i have many of them and i am not the one doing all this bad stuff he speaks of or screams about. he knows that i ahve multiple personalities but yet still gets furious at me when i dont remember what has happened. so if anybody has any ideas or comments please let me know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 1:39pm
First of all, welcome to the board bunny.
5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 2:05pm

Oh, honey, welcome -


There's so much in your post, I'm just going to jump right in.


From what this sounds like, you didn't get any type of counseling from your childhood trauma, and now you've married this person who is just as evil.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 8:23pm

Are you in some sort of therapy? Did a psychiatrist diagnos you with Mult Personality Disorder?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2001
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 2:51pm

Bunny,

I have been away for a little while. I just read your post. I truly believe that you must now have been in contact with the HOTLINE for Domestic Abuse to talk to someone who understands 24/7. They have given you your local shelter who will help you with everything needed to stop this journey that you have been on. You deserve the best life has to offer, everyone has the right to it. You have found your way here first, it took me 30 years, and now will have the support need to start your journey to living the rest of your life in happiness. Be safe, take care of yourself. We are here.

Luv, Sherry