I called and asked

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
I called and asked
7
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 12:11pm
The National Domestic Abuse Hotline about the situation in my post below and they wouldn't tell me if they THOUGHt it was potential abusive behavior. WTF?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 1:41pm
Since they didn't answer you and no one has answered your original post so far, I will say that based on what you have posted her, I do not see any abuse. I see maybe's, but what I see is a dysfunctional blended family situation. Maybe she is an insecure person and she's threatened by you, and is acting up. If the diapers are truly not being changed on your baby, then that would fall into neglect not abuse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 1:46pm
Not even the glare that she gave him, when she pounded her finger on the door?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 2:03pm
I still don't see abuse, I see maybe's like I said in my first post, maybe means it can possibly be abusive, but I don't see a glare and pounding your finger on a door as a definite sign of abuse. There may be more to it, but I don't see definite abuse from what you have posted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 5:58pm
okay... how about manipulation? Isn't manipulation and control part of the cycles of abuse?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 7:28pm

Hi again -


You are right in that manipulation is part of the cycle indeed, and there may be some verbal/emotional abuse going on.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 10:10pm

Oh I know that Candice is a VERY insecure person. She's ALWAYS been jealous of me, but what was between Nathan and I is done. Over. We've BOTH told her that, when her and I USED to get along. I have NO idea what changed that. *shrugs shoulders* Just one day, its' like she snapped or something... ????????

Maybe she's sees something that Nathan and I don't see????

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Thu, 05-05-2005 - 3:03pm
Yes control and manipulation are at the heart of abusive relationships. However it's hard to tell as an outsider if the words and actions are about control. We all get short and snappy to our loved ones sometimes when we are frustrated(which can look exactly like an abusers behaviour). The difference is we can acknowledge that we acted inappropriately and apologize and truly mean it, whereas abusers can never acknowledge that they acted inapporpriately and will only apologize to get back to the honeymoon stage or out of fear of losing the person and their actions are base on control. So as an outsider to their relationship, I would say it's hard to know what is going on. It can go either way. However, not changing the baby's diaper at all is definite neglect, so you have all the grounds to take action right there without needing any sort of proof in regards to their relationship.