I Called the Police

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
I Called the Police
5
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 2:52pm
Hi,

I haven't posted here in a long time. This morning we were getting ready to go to church and he couldn't find his bible (of all things!). He was looking all over for it. I was standing in the hallway when suddenly he puts both hands around my neck and squeezes hard enough for me to react. I had my car keys in hand, and I hit his hand hard to get him off of me NOW. Of course, his hand started to bleed. I went outside and proceeded to call 911 on my cell phone. Can you believe they were busy and I had to wait a few minutes to get through?! I told 911 that it was domestic violence and the cops came out

(again, not very quickly). This time I was told that it's an automatic arrest when the cops are called out for domestic violence. My neck was still a little bit red, so the cop took 2 pictures. This was not the 1st time he's put his hands around my neck. It's the 2nd, and I wasn't going to let him get away with it again. I was told to go down to the courthouse tomorrow morning and file for a Restraining Order, which I am going to do. I am not going to prosecute for this incident. I just want him out for good. It's a scary time for me since I'm still not working again. I've been living on U.I. since Sept. I've been going on a lot of interviews for the local school district (for Office Assistant position), so I hope I get hired soon. Please keep me in your prayers.

Barbara

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 3:11pm

Oh, man, I am so sorry.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 3:29pm
Hi blueliner4!

He doesn't own a car. I'm going to give the apt. mgr. a copy of the RO so that he won't let him in the apt. I have all of the apt. keys right now. The one thing I can see him doing is calling me on the phone. I hope he gets put in a Mental Health facility. He is very unstable. He threatens suicide, and was threatening me constantly. It has been nothing short of a nightmare for me. His brother would have to come here and get all of his things so that he would move out for good. Am I forbidden to talk to his brother for only that reason? Please clarify "3rd Party". He is the only one I'd be talking to about him.

Thanks!

Barbara

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 1:31am

The RO

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 8:48am
I'm going to throw in my two cents. Definitely have someone there with you when the brother comes by to get the stuff. In fact, I'd have all the stuff packed and waiting outside so there would be no reason for the brother to even come in. Other than a couple large pieces of furniture, that were sitting just inside the front door, I had all stbx's stuff packed up and waiting in the garage when the mover arrived. I also had a very muscular friend on hand which I call the 'intimidate him into good behaviour' factor. No words were exchanged, he was just there - a presence. Same friend used to be on hand for visitation drop offs and pick ups.

Remember, the brother is *HIS* brother. Blood is thicker than water and they grew up together. He knows his brother and likely has excused a lot of what normal society would call unacceptable. If he's still willing to help him, he definitely has not abandoned him. You sure do not need more pressure than you are already under in terms of additional guilt trips, etc. Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing. It's my experience that In-laws can turn at the drop of a hat.

You *are* doing the right thing for your family. Keep looking up^, Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 10:42am
Hi,

Last night was hard, but I got through it ok. Felt afraid to go to sleep. Worried that he'd be at the door or something. I know that I'm suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. As I was falling asleep, I saw him and he hit me. On a positive note, I was able to clean up two areas of clutter in the bedroom. The clutter is just a sign of what was going on with me in my head, trying to cope as best I could living with a "crazy" man.

I'm going right now to the courthouse to get that RO. I hope that I don't have any problems. I don't need any hassles at this time. I called my dad last night (I always call him on Sundays). He's relieved that Ron's out. He's there to help me in any way that he can. So, I do have resources, should I need them. Thanks for all of the advice.

Barbara