I can breath and I love it!!!
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I can breath and I love it!!!
| Fri, 07-15-2005 - 7:11pm |
Hello women,
I have been in here once before about 1 year ago asking some advice on an abusive situation I was in with my son's (my adorable handsom lil 2 year old) father. I got lots of advice but then I decided to take actions on my own.....kinda in a slow 3 more months way and that was the longest, toughest and most dramatic 3 months of my life.
1st of all what happened is my sons father was a cheater, a insecure pocessor, lazy, and a LIAR and ended up abusing me, he harmed to 2 times before the big big day happened, which was the day I finally got out of the situation.
One day he went to go see his other son and didn't come back for hours and never would answer his phone or anything, so I just didn't really care and told my self to just calm down before he got home, I didn't wanna argue when my son was awake. SO then he came home and I had nothin to say.....well he didnt like that i think he thought I should of started a fight or maybe he wanted to but I was just acting sible and playing with my son when it happened. I then picked up my son and walked into my room and set him on the bed, When I turned around my sons father was standing there, I went to walk past him and he grabbed me by my neck from behind and put me in a choke hold and lifted me off the ground by only neck, while my son was behind me Screaming watching this happen. At this point I don't remember anything, because he strangled me to where I passed out. I then woke up all the way across the house in the laundry room thrown under some dirty towles and pressed against the washer with the laudry room door smashed against my face, and my legs were all scraped up and my tongue was almost bit in half. I had no idea where I was or what was goin on until I heard my son screaming and cryin down the hall, I then remembered that I had been straggled and didn't know how long I was out though. So I went to use the phone and he had unplugged all the phones and then when i stubbled my way into the room to get my son, my sons father was paceing back and forth like he was freaking out and then he saw me and tried to pretend like I fell over he acted like I didn't know what happened. So to play safe I picked up my son and told his dad I had a headache and i was gonna go lay down. so this way he didn't freak out more and think I was gonna call the cops or run out. So I played along. Then I proceeded to drop my purse and one key off the balcony when he wasn't looking (the one key was so that when he came out and seen the keys dangling by the door he wouldn't think i was about to take the car). So I then yelled that I was gonna take the trash out ( this was after about 4 hours) so I grabbed my son and went running out the door. I then heard his open the balcony door and look over and that is when he noticed I had no trash and I was picking up my purse off the ground and running to my car. That was the day I excaped my OWN house. I called the cops and then went to my job for safety.
That was one of the worse days in my life but I had so much strength and will never forget the freedom I felt and how happy i was and so proud of myself. I breathed (literally) and at that point made a promise to my son that he would never have to deal with that EVER AGAIN.
I just wanted to get this off my chest and tell you ladies that have been dealing with it forever that it does do damage to you internally, physically and mentally. I now have a vocal disease caused from that day and my neck has muscle spasms and the muscels are not holdin on well because of all the damaga which causes my voice to be very horse and I can't even sing anymore which is what I did before i was with my sons father, my son will never know what I sound like in person.....that hurts me more then anything, but I will never give up on tryin to sing again. I still write and Dj and am learning how to make my own music.
This is my story and I wanted to thank you for letting me get this out and off my chest, hope you girls learn something from this and remember the abuser is a loser leave him alone and go start your own, you'll feel so much better.
Thank you
I have been in here once before about 1 year ago asking some advice on an abusive situation I was in with my son's (my adorable handsom lil 2 year old) father. I got lots of advice but then I decided to take actions on my own.....kinda in a slow 3 more months way and that was the longest, toughest and most dramatic 3 months of my life.
1st of all what happened is my sons father was a cheater, a insecure pocessor, lazy, and a LIAR and ended up abusing me, he harmed to 2 times before the big big day happened, which was the day I finally got out of the situation.
One day he went to go see his other son and didn't come back for hours and never would answer his phone or anything, so I just didn't really care and told my self to just calm down before he got home, I didn't wanna argue when my son was awake. SO then he came home and I had nothin to say.....well he didnt like that i think he thought I should of started a fight or maybe he wanted to but I was just acting sible and playing with my son when it happened. I then picked up my son and walked into my room and set him on the bed, When I turned around my sons father was standing there, I went to walk past him and he grabbed me by my neck from behind and put me in a choke hold and lifted me off the ground by only neck, while my son was behind me Screaming watching this happen. At this point I don't remember anything, because he strangled me to where I passed out. I then woke up all the way across the house in the laundry room thrown under some dirty towles and pressed against the washer with the laudry room door smashed against my face, and my legs were all scraped up and my tongue was almost bit in half. I had no idea where I was or what was goin on until I heard my son screaming and cryin down the hall, I then remembered that I had been straggled and didn't know how long I was out though. So I went to use the phone and he had unplugged all the phones and then when i stubbled my way into the room to get my son, my sons father was paceing back and forth like he was freaking out and then he saw me and tried to pretend like I fell over he acted like I didn't know what happened. So to play safe I picked up my son and told his dad I had a headache and i was gonna go lay down. so this way he didn't freak out more and think I was gonna call the cops or run out. So I played along. Then I proceeded to drop my purse and one key off the balcony when he wasn't looking (the one key was so that when he came out and seen the keys dangling by the door he wouldn't think i was about to take the car). So I then yelled that I was gonna take the trash out ( this was after about 4 hours) so I grabbed my son and went running out the door. I then heard his open the balcony door and look over and that is when he noticed I had no trash and I was picking up my purse off the ground and running to my car. That was the day I excaped my OWN house. I called the cops and then went to my job for safety.
That was one of the worse days in my life but I had so much strength and will never forget the freedom I felt and how happy i was and so proud of myself. I breathed (literally) and at that point made a promise to my son that he would never have to deal with that EVER AGAIN.
I just wanted to get this off my chest and tell you ladies that have been dealing with it forever that it does do damage to you internally, physically and mentally. I now have a vocal disease caused from that day and my neck has muscle spasms and the muscels are not holdin on well because of all the damaga which causes my voice to be very horse and I can't even sing anymore which is what I did before i was with my sons father, my son will never know what I sound like in person.....that hurts me more then anything, but I will never give up on tryin to sing again. I still write and Dj and am learning how to make my own music.
This is my story and I wanted to thank you for letting me get this out and off my chest, hope you girls learn something from this and remember the abuser is a loser leave him alone and go start your own, you'll feel so much better.
Thank you

Hi Diva, and welcome back -
I vaguely remember you from your previous visit.
CL-Blueliner4
Just saw your profile & wanted to say I am so sorry for the loss of your kitty.
Thank you for reading my story and showing so much support, I just really needed to get it off my chest and it seems like there is alot of understanding and support in here.
So about your cat.....not to scare you or anything but my cat was 17 years old and she started to pee everwhere 2 months before she died, just be aware that that is a warning sign when cats get old and start to let go of themselves. The only advice I would give is when your cat wants attention please give her it even if u are really busy because the day before my cat passed was christmas eve and I was sooooooo busy I didn't give her the time of day when she was following me around and trying to get my attention, I just thought she needed food or something but she was good so I just kept pushing her away and then the next day is when she just crawled into her kennel and went to sleep, and I was HURT!!!! I was so upset that i didn't spend her last day with her because I know that she knew she was gonna die.....I still cry when i think of her but I know her body was tired and she lived a spoiled life and she was the coolest cat I ever had. So just prepare yourself, I don't know if you have ever delt with death before but I never had and I know I was a wreck for some time.
Well talk to you later, have a good day.
Thanks. I know the time will be coming & she has lived a wonderful long spoiled life ... but it scares me. I dont want to go thru putting her down alone, or finding her dead alone. Thats the ONLY thing i miss about STBX right now, he was really good & suprisingly supportive in situations like that.
Luv,
Darah
Also something really cool about this guy is he found out that I wanted to help out women who are in DV relatioships and do speakings and things like that, so he actually went to a source at work who actually does the same thing and she is not in contact with me and helping me get started on this volunteer program. I just am so happy with how things are goin and how happy my son is and how much the 2 of us have grown these long difficult 9 months, but we are such a good team, I love my son sooooooo much, I know that is true love and unconditional love.
much more, Darah