I dont know
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I dont know
| Tue, 06-14-2005 - 2:13pm |
I want to say that my husband makes me feel insecure, and that my kids are feeling it too, but what if what I think he is doing isnt what other people considering abuse. I mean hes mad all the time. He has some right to be I cheated on him, but he was like that before, just not to the extent of what he has been . He doesnt allow me to do the things that he used to let me do, but then again I am my own person right . He tells me Im a bitch alot, but I guess I can be. The reasons Im asking is maybe I dont understand what abuse really is because I have lived it for elevn years. I lived with his drug habit, that he has quit now, and the names and the personality is always up and down there is never a medium. He wants sex all the time, and when I dont feel like it he tells me if he was someone else maybe I would be in the mood. I am venting on someone out there because I have been going to a counseler and although it has helped alot in my self esteen it still doesnt change the fact that I work for ten dollars an hour, my credit is poor. I have two kids to worry about and although I am trying to get out its like I can never really get out. well thank you for listening to me I am all for ideas

Welcome honey...
I can tell in your post how controlling he is toward you.
Honeygurl,
He is abusive. I recommend you get the book by Lundy Bancroft titled, "Why Does He Do That?". It gives abused women great insight into why they often feel, like you do, confused and that it is they who have the problem. I was there wondering if I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. Thinking I was oversensitive. Well, guess what?? Once I was out of the relationship I slowly began to see it was him not me. That the way he controlled what I wore, looked like and ate was NOT normal in a healthy relationship. Once I started talking about it to other people and heard them gasp in horror that he said these things to me I realized even more that he has the problem. Yes, he got physical but it was the controlling, emotional/verbal abuse that was far worse for me and it was constant!
I was also a bitch.... when I didn't agree with him or do as I was told. But that was only sometimes. Other times he didn't care. That is what adds to the confusion we feel. We don't know what to expect and once we think we do know what to expect, everything changes again! It is all part of the manipulation.
Keep going to therapy, seek help from a DV group. There is help out there, just start asking for it.