I feel I am losing it

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2000
I feel I am losing it
1
Wed, 09-11-2013 - 2:47pm

Hi i tried copy and paste bc I didn't see this website. If u truly wouldn't mind could anyone who has a moment drop over to love and sex relationship problems to toxic relationship to my post that says insight please..? I really wanted to post something here but not safe to copy paste from word.. If you can read and respond here or there I am going crazy.. I feel that was honestly nothing today  and it actually scares me To think that.

silverrayven

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Sat, 09-14-2013 - 12:06am

Yes that is abuse....the shoving you is physical abuse and the hitting the wall and leaving "holes" is a threat meant to intimidate you into submission...also what you describe is what we call "crazy making"...he makes you think YOU are the one who is crazy to make you feel you cannot do anything about what he is doing...the money issues is called financial abuse...Get a book "why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft...also be sure the lawyer you are using is experienced in domestic abuse...the abuser knows how to manipulate the courts and the system to continue abusing you....a good lawyer who is well versed in this game will know how to stop it before it starts a lawyer who is not experienced in domestic abuse will inadvertantly allow the abuse to continue...also look around for a counselor for you and for your kids...even if he is not abusing them directly, hearing their mom be abuse does leave damage on them that will cause them to suffer in their adult years ...as the one poster suggested call the domestic hot line at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) to see what kind of resources are available for you, they also might be able to suggest counselors who are trained in domestic abuse and lawyers who are also experienced in domestic abuse...there might be financial assistance they can offer, there might be a safe house you and the kids can go to and be safe they might even be able to help you financially get on your feet so you can survive successfully without him...but you wont know what they can offer until you call and ask.