I felt so bad!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
I felt so bad!
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 8:06pm
So a couple of weeks ago I was with my husband and son coming back from my mothers house, as we thought the restraining order had been dropped, when we were pulled over for a licence plate light hanging down. Guess what the local police that J is buddy buddy with had to arrest him as they said that the TRO was still in effect, needless to say I was so schocked as the court clerk had told me that it had been dropped, I explained this to the police and they said that the law is very clear on this that they did not want to arrest him either but that they had to and for me to find out what was going on. I went and talk to the courthouse and the lady I talked with said that the day I called to see if it had been dropped the clerk must have misunderstood what I was asking, as this particualr judge does not dropped TRO if it has been less than 6 months of getting one and then after 6 months it is very IFY!. So in short the TRO is still in effect and J has to go to court on Tuesday for violating it. I feel so bad in some ways because the only reason he was with me was because I told him it had been dropped, but I seriously thought it had. I wrote a letter to the Judge explaining this that J can take with him as maybe that will help him not get in so much trouble, it seriously was a miscommunication all the way around.

So in a way I am relieved that it is still in effect after reading the reply to my other post, as it has got me thinking. I am getting ready to move into a new nice apartment close to my son and my schools and hopefully I will be getting a scholarship. I don't want to give that all up, I told him that and I am not being fair to him, (BIG RED LIGHT)!!! I told him that I will not even consider having the TRO dropped now and that he can still have his visitation as is stated in the TRO, needless to say he got a little upset about that.

So I now have my mom saying that I need to write a letter the the judge telling him that I am missing out on a lot of family things as my family invites my H to everything going on, my brother's wedding reception, my other brothers baptism, my son's birthday etc, I have gone to these things but we just stay on oppisite sides of the place the event is going on at, but my mother wants me to lie to the judge and when I told her I won't do it she got mad. I told her that the TRO was good for another 5 months and then it won't be a big problem, she still does not get it, I am the liar for saying that my H beat the crap out of something I have never said. I am not dropping the TRO and they can both be mad at me all they want. I have a new life to start living and if I give into them I know I won't be happy at all. My H is mad becasue my son is going to have to have his tonsils out after his third b-day and he can't be there for that, not like he wanted to be there before. So anyways I just wanted to thank you all for this board as I have been learning a lot from here. Got to run, talk to you all later.

Angel