I finally got out!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
I finally got out!!!!
5
Fri, 09-08-2006 - 8:55pm

Hi all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Sat, 09-09-2006 - 10:00am

I was where you were over 15 years ago. You will not only survive without her, you will be so much better off.

It is so hard to leave everything you know behind. To get rid of all your "friends" and change how you live, but it is also soo worth it.

Please don't give up and read my story posted under need some validation. I have been there and done that, and I don't regret for a second giving up the drugs, and my family. It was the right thing to do for my kids.

Your best friend is a user. If you don't come back she will find someone else to manipulate. She will be fine -- and even if she isn't -- your kids need you.

They need you to set an example, to stay clean, to be there for them.

Your "best friend" (you know in your heart she isn't your friend) is an adult and she is old enough to live with the consequences of her actions. Your children are dependent on you. They need you and they look up to you.

Good luck and email me if you need support. I know how hard what you are going through is -- but I also know you can do this.

GT

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Sat, 09-09-2006 - 1:56pm
This is definitely wonderful news!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 09-09-2006 - 7:43pm
Hi,
I'm really, really happy for you! I have a six-yr-old son too and I felt so sad when you posted about the effects of the DV on both of you. It's so painful for you right now, but you've done everything right--getting off the drugs, telling the truth to children's services about what happened to your DS, and getting to a place where you're safe. When you're ready for it (and even when you start, you might not feel ready), the DV support group will be a great help also.
It's so hard not to feel guilty about leaving an abuser (I left mine 5 years ago and I won't forget how very sorry I felt for him when I left him), but remind yourself every time you can that this is the best thing you can do for yourself and your kids. And yes, you will live just fine without your abuser--once the pain and guilt start to ease up you will find yourself thriving, and you will be free to make true friendships.
I hope we'll be hearing more good news from you!
Hugs
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 4:26pm

Huge congratulations on your newfound freedom (and sobriety - WOW!)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 9:23pm

YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!! You did it!

The great thing is, you've already done the really big hard part. You have done what's right for yourself and your son. Now, I have two things for you to remember. One is NO CONTACT. If she can't contact you, she can't work on you and try to beg you to come back. The other is, when you get to feeling sorry for her, remember that she did this to herself. She *chose* to mistreat you, and HER behavior is why she is alone now. No other reason, and it's not your problem. This will be easier to keep in mind if you maintain NO CONTACT.

Hang in there, congratulations, and good luck!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com