I HATE my feelings

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
I HATE my feelings
3
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 7:30pm
My abuser has decided that he wants to sell our home and move on with his life. I know in my heeart that this is the best thing that has happened to me in the 8 years of our marriage...my daughter's birth the exception. However, I feel frightened, depressed, and desperate to beg him to stay. I'm so down and ashamed of feeling this way. Please help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 8:40pm
Your feelings are your own, and you don't have to feel guilty about them. As women, we are often programmed that it's our job to save the relationship at all costs, so it's normal to feel guilt and think we should be trying to save it. If you're concerned, talking to a DV counselor might help; contact your local shelter for a reference.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 10:21pm

Hi.

Glad you came and posted again. It does really help just to get the feelings out and onlto paper (kinda) and to talk with people that have been in abusive relationship.

Listen to your heart, gut feeling.. always follow what you think is right. This is the best thing to happen to you, and you need to follow it. No, it won't be easy but it will be a lot easier to move on this way then to stay with him. It is unsafe for you to be in this relationship. Think about you and your childrens well-being.

Really try not to beg him to stay. Just try to think of all the mean things he has said and has done everytime you think about asking him to stay. You deserve better than him. You might not feel that way right now, but it will get better. It will just take time. Do not feel ashamed for feeling this way. Everybody goes thru it. I wanted to work things out so much with my abuser, but deep down I knew it wouldn't get better unless I moved on. And you know what I feel great now. I actually feel free to do whatever I please and I do not feel guilty anymore. Try to think about your future without him. Yes it will be scary at times, but it will also be wonderful and a blessing that you got out safely.

Hugs. Lauren

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 6:57am
Thank you...your post made facing this day easier.