I HATE my feelings
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I HATE my feelings
| Sun, 09-24-2006 - 7:30pm |
My abuser has decided that he wants to sell our home and move on with his life. I know in my heeart that this is the best thing that has happened to me in the 8 years of our marriage...my daughter's birth the exception. However, I feel frightened, depressed, and desperate to beg him to stay. I'm so down and ashamed of feeling this way. Please help.

Hi.
Glad you came and posted again. It does really help just to get the feelings out and onlto paper (kinda) and to talk with people that have been in abusive relationship.
Listen to your heart, gut feeling.. always follow what you think is right. This is the best thing to happen to you, and you need to follow it. No, it won't be easy but it will be a lot easier to move on this way then to stay with him. It is unsafe for you to be in this relationship. Think about you and your childrens well-being.
Really try not to beg him to stay. Just try to think of all the mean things he has said and has done everytime you think about asking him to stay. You deserve better than him. You might not feel that way right now, but it will get better. It will just take time. Do not feel ashamed for feeling this way. Everybody goes thru it. I wanted to work things out so much with my abuser, but deep down I knew it wouldn't get better unless I moved on. And you know what I feel great now. I actually feel free to do whatever I please and I do not feel guilty anymore. Try to think about your future without him. Yes it will be scary at times, but it will also be wonderful and a blessing that you got out safely.
Hugs. Lauren