I HAVE ABSOLUTLEY HAD IT

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
I HAVE ABSOLUTLEY HAD IT
6
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 7:30pm

I was watching football...which I love ,and he hates with a passion ,and also hates me to watch it .He was coming to see the kids for a minute,and I told him ok."I have to go now im watching the game " ...so he called back ,for no reason other than he wanted to interrupt me ,then three more times within a few minutes .kept asking me if I was enjoying the game with my boyfriend etc.

so he finally made me mad , and I told him I would rather him not come ...we played phone tag for awhile ,I kept hanging up and he kept calling back .....

The last time he called ,I just held the phone aside ,and listened .he was saying things like " I know you are listening ,and now we are enimies ,and I will devote my whole life to making yours hell" and " call the cops ,So I can shoot them"

" go get a restraining order ,what will a restraining order do ? do you have 24 hour surveillence on you ?"
" do you remember Jeffery Dahmer ? we he has nothing on me " " If you F*** with the bull you get the horns "

I dont have an answering machine ,but I do have AOL call alert with voicemail while I am online , so I am going to stay online ,and hopefully that will make him mad enough to say something on my voicemail ,so I can have some proof .

do you think that wil work ? if I can get him on voicemail ? does anyone know if I would be able to use that ?

Thanks

Love

EDITED to add : he just left me a VM that said " sweetie its me , Im justtrying to work things out with you , please answer the phone .I love you "

BS!!!!!!!!!

Even though he tells me its not my fault... I cant help but feel it is in some way ,...he did tell me he needed me to do more, and that he wasnt feeling connected to me because of the distance ...But he really didnt give me a c

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2004
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 8:04pm
ahhh yes, trying to "making things work" while making threats and talkin trash...gotta love the mans logical thought process lol :) i definitely think you should tyr to get him on voicemail saying those things...my ex left some messages on my answering machine saying if i thought he was dangerous before, ishould see him now, etc etc etc, and the police used them to show he is a threat to me and my family...im not sure if they can play them in court or what i dont know all those laws tho im sure someone does..but it definitely cant hurt to have them in case!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 10:07pm

I was just reading some info on this and other sites about abuse ....and I realize again just how stupid and screwed up I am .

I have so many questions about why I do the things I do ..Like Why have I always made excuses and made light of his behavior? is it denial ?The few times he was physically violent with me ,I blamed myself ...the frst time he hit me , he was very drunk,and I was drinking some too,and was having a conversation with one of his male friends ,I guess he thought I wanted the other guy ...thats when we left ,and he slammed on the gas as soon as we got out of sight from his friends,he had to be going 90 MPH.Im screaming "whats wrong " he never says a word ..then he drives to a remote area ,turns down an old gravel road ,He slows down a bit ,so I try to jump out of the car , he grabs my hair ,and pulls me back inside ,finally I made it out of the car ,and ran through the woods ,limbs hitting me all in the face , it was 3 in the mornig , dark and scary .he was chasing me the whole time ,he caught up with me ,and pushed me from behind ,when I fell to the ground , he grabbed me by the arms and drug me al the way back to the road.where he started a fire right next to me on the ground ,im still not sure why .He rared back and hit me so hard in the face that I couldnt open my mouth for a week,and he never even came close to touching my mouth,he hit me near my eye.He stil swears that I hit him first .I always wonder what would have happened if he hadnt heard that car coming down the road where we were parked .but he did ,and he jumped in our car and left me there in the road .

*but I always said that if I hadnt been talking to his friend ,that he would have had no reason to be mad

And the morning he held the gun to my head ,he had just found out that I had been talking to the only man who actually ever loved me ,and was helping me through the terror I was living with .So again I blamed my actions for his .

sometimes I feel like just giving up and letting him have me

Even though he tells me its not my fault... I cant help but feel it is in some way ,...he did tell me he needed me to do more, and that he wasnt feeling connected to me because of the distance ...But he really didnt give me a c

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2006
Sun, 08-13-2006 - 7:10am
Change your phone number and ensure it is unlisted....or get Caller ID. Don't take his call!!! In the meantime, when he does call, hang up!!!! You need to take control and stop letting him control you......the choice is your's to make.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Sun, 08-13-2006 - 10:49am
girl....you are me.....I have so much more to say but my computer lost what I had typed already and I am short on time.......work work work......but you are not alone, I have been there. Your old man is my husband for sure. you are not screwed up, just controlled and abused. Get that restraining order, i did and it is the start. He cannot treat you like this and you deserve better. So do your kids. I found out that my husband is a true narcissist. Look into that on the web. I bet you will find you can see yours in there too. go to www.angelfire.com ....it will open your eyes and give you hope and strength. Got to fly. Will try to write more later....two days off tomorrow......take care.....you are not alone
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Sun, 08-13-2006 - 7:45pm
Babe, you feel totally free to call the cops right now.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 11:01pm

It's amazing. Abusers are SO alike. Completely psycho, then 'but I just love u babe'. Mine has been stupid enough to leave messages...but I believe that the calls on your caller id would be enough for a harassment charge. And what he is saying to you is terroristic threatening.

I'm still kinda stuck in mine and I go through this on a daily basis.

Hang tough.