I know it's abuse - help!
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| Wed, 07-05-2006 - 12:36pm |
Hi Everyone,
How about I give you a bit of background info first...
I met my current BF at work, and started dating in May 05. I was living with my sister, then a roomate.. but eventually needed another roomate. So I decided to just move in with my BF in Jan 06. Ever since then we have not been getting along very well.
I seem to know that he does verbally abuse me or emotionally, but I can't seem to get the courage to leave. I do love him even though i'm sure nobody understands why. We will get mad at me about little things - just totally blow out of control, yell at me, tell me i'm a f-ing bitch, and tell me to F-off. It really hurts. He does know it hurts me, but it seems like he just forgets. Then a little while later he says he's so sorry, and it won't happen again. But it does. He has never hurt to physically.
We had an episode on Saturday - it was my birthday and my sister was here visiting. He didn't even wish my happy birthday till the end of the day after I got mad at him. He totally turned the day around like it was his day and seemed like he didn't even care about me. He said some really hurtful things to me, then I left the house to go to a BBQ without him. I came back in to get something, and he was crying, saying he was sorry, and apologizing, saying he loves me... and all that. I can't help it....I start to feel really sad when he's like that.. and I forget what he did to me. Then it's all fine the next day...??
He knows that something is wrong with him. He has some abandonment issues, depression and he has decided to go to some couselling. He wants 1 more chance for us to try and work it out. I just think he will never change. He thinks he will change with some counselling.
I am planning to move out ASAP and he is fine with that. We both realize that we are in a very unhealthy relationship. He wants to stay together when I move out... and I am starting to be very unsure. I do love him, he is my best friend and that's why it's so hard.
I'm just very confused if we should try 1 more time if he gets help from counselling..? I just worry about him and I don't want to break his heart..... HELP!!


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I am currently living with a couple friends until Saturday then I am moving to a new place. i don't think it has totally hit me yet that we are breaking up because I haven't really had time to be alone and to think. I'm sure it will really hit me what's happening when I'm in the new place by myself. I know that it is the best decision for both of us even though it is soo hard right now!! I guess in abusive relationships you always hold hope that it will get better and that it will be the last time he will be mean. But that isn't the case, it will never get better.
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta get through the rain!"
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