I left four years ago
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 06-03-2006 - 12:16am |
Hi, everyone.
I was a participant on this board four years ago. I am so very, very happy that I found this place back then and wished that I had found it sooner. This board gave me strength when I didn't know where to find it. It made me strong when all I wanted to do was cry. It made me confident to move forward.
I haven't visited this board in about 3 years. My life has been so absolutely beautiful during the last three years, just pure joy. But up until four years ago my life was so horribly different.
When I was on this board 4 years ago, I used a different user name. I was in a verbally, finacially, and mentally abusing relationship. I used to cry in the shower praying, PRAYING for help.
I've written to all of you today, to let you know what can happen. At least what happened to one person, me.
I moved to a different state (moved in with relatives) and started a new job. I got online here and kept healing. Then I got online and started dating, looking for a kind, wonderful man. I eventually found him. (I should say he found me.) He is so kind, patient and gentle. He treats me well. He has never yelled at me. He wants to make sure I'm always happy. We met in 2004 got engaged a few months later and got married in April 2005. Now we are trying to have our first baby. We are so looking forward to having children and growing old together.
I try not to think of the past. It's too painful. For me, the secret to getting past the flashbacks is not to think about it. If you think about it, you create a new memory of it. Well, don't create another memory of a bad situation. Why do you want 100 memories of something horrible? When I find myself regressing and having a flashback, I stop it. I am creating new, happy memories now, and I have been for the past 3 years. As time has gone by and I shut down those bad memories, I am overflowing with so many happy new memories.
Be strong, all of you. Be well. I've written to you to give you confidence and to let you know what can happen.

Greetings Floridawife!
Like you, when I came to this board three years ago, it was