I need to come clean

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
I need to come clean
14
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 9:36am

He was gone for a little over a year.

In July I briefly took him back.

sweets35

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 2:03pm

I would say YES many of what you are struggling with can be associated with anxiety.

I know when I have many of my panic attacks it when I cannot breath through my nose, so that may be something that is triggering you.

Do you run a humidifier in your home? If not that might help some of the problems with the nasal issues..YES keep using nasonex and if you can consider doing sinus flushes...the drug stores have a thing called a netti pot which I have never used but that might be something to look at...but be sure the liquid can evacuate before starting the process.

What I use to flush my sinuses, and it is not a thorough as my doctor wants me to do but is what I can stand to do....I use nasal saline (Ocean spray but I use the store brand)...while I am in the shower I will bend over half way point the tip in my nose toward my ear, pinch off the other nasal opening and inhale as I spray the liquid up...I will do this twice per nostril...the gross part is it comes out through my throat but at least it is fresh and clean...I hate doing it, and have to force myself each time but my sinuses feel so much better and I have had far less sinus infections since I started doing them...when I can tell I have a new sinus infection brewing I try to do it more frequently and so far it has managed to keep the sinus infection from getting full swing.

I suspect the reason your nasal cavity is closed it it has been irritated and is inflamed...hopefully as you keep the tissue moist it will start going down and they will open up again.

Also don't be afraid to seek a second opinion. It sounds like maybe the doctor just does not want to be bothered, perhaps lazy or perhaps insurance issues, we will never know for sure, but if you can consult with another specialist to see if there might be something else you can do..My daughter actually had to have her turbines trimmed back because she cannot breath through her nose, but she never has been able to so it does not freak her out as it does those of us who have been able to breath through their noses.

When you are experiencing those freak out/panic moments, what do you do to regain yourself? or are you dependent on someone else to bring you back to the current moment?

When I feel a panic attack coming on I will locate my pulse first. (usually my heart is beating out of my chest or at least it feels like it so I find my pulse so I can realize what I am experiencing in that area is false) Once I find my pulse I focus my attention on what my pulse is telling me and ignore what my chest is saying...that usually stops the beating in my chest so I can focus on breathing. I try to pace my breathing to my pulse, I inhale for three beats then exhale for three beats...I focus myself on the breathing which takes my mind off everything else. As I am breathing I will tell myself..."I am OK", "everything is alright"..Along with my breathing...you can try that and I will do some research on other ideas for panic attacks that does not involve medication. Where I am not against medicine for helping with mental issues, I like to try to use "natural" options first..After studying the different medications and the side effects, I decided going with natural options would be my first choice and medication if the natural approach does not work.

Since I know all of the garbage you have gone through, I would like to encourage you to consider taking omega 3 supplements...Kryll is the best. Along with omega 3/fish oil think about adding Co-q-10 and Lutein. The three of them are very healthy for your heart and also have positive influences on the brain. If you are already taking those then keep taking them.

keep your nasal passages moist and keep yourself hydrated. Humidifiers are great helpers along with the nasonex the doctor has given you.

If you can privately message me I can give you some of my contact information and we can talk more in detail of what might be going on with you...I personally have no clue how to initiate a private conversation but I believe my e-mail address is still attached to my profile

Hang in there, as much as you were posting how you were aching for him and longing for his company, I doubt anyone here is surprised you had him back. It was important to you to find a way to "fix" what was wrong and make it work some way..Unfortunately he only wanted to resume his control and power so he could feel like a "big man"..Probably because his mommy babies him which emasculate him and he had to find his masculinity some way and only knows one way. I doubt he will every figure out that beating up women is NOT how you gain your manhood.

I am glad you are free again, I am glad you have REAL family support, Now that you know you are NOT alone I am sure it is getting easier putting him in the past and discovering a new future for you and the babies. Part of your struggles were you felt so alone and did not feel you could do life alone. Now you know you are not alone, neither here or there and you don't have to be solo I suspect life is not as hard as when you first started on this journey.

Let me know how I can help you better and I will look at what other techniques are successfully used for panic attacks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 3:19pm

Bless you, Sweets--you have had a hard time, and now you can't breathe.

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 9:03pm

Ohhh, bless your heart, sweets, you've been through the wringer.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 7:23am

Thank you all for the responses.

sweets35
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 7:37am

Hi Geo, so you've had a septoplasty too.

sweets35
Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 7:40am
Hugs. No one has the right to judge you because we are not in your shoes but I have realized sometimes it is hard to voice how we feel workout sounding judgmental. We have all been though hell and when we see someone else going though it we want to get it though thier head to get out but I haven't forgotten all the reasons I stayed and how many times I was told to leave. And if it hadn't been for my children not wanting him back and the fear for my life he put in me I may have taken him back.

Anytime you think about ending it look in the eyes of your children! Draw strength to get though the days by them. They love you and would be lost with out you. Think of all you would miss out on if you left this world early. Last night I was feeling very down and my oldest told me how my 12 year old dd stood up to one of her friends who was picking on a boy that is not normal. It made me remember I may not have much but I do have wonderful children and I don't want to do anything that would hurt them.

Hugs. You will get though this and be even stronger on the other side of things!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 7:47am

Hi Frustratedwiththree, you are awesome.

I do like how you think about meds.

sweets35
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 8:28am
Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 12:06pm
hi sweets, I haven;t come to board for a while but just wanted to say I am sorry to hear this. I would seek a second/third opinion on your nose and your health in general. You WILL get through this. Think of it as a bump on the road. I will read your other follow ups later. Please hang in there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 7:25pm

Hi winter,

sweets35

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