I need to hear what u think

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2011
I need to hear what u think
Mon, 07-04-2011 - 7:39am
This is one of many nights lately that bf has been out gotten drunk and not come home. This is probably one of the longest times he hasn't come home. He left Saturday night after work. He knew I had a fever and was watching our baby the whole day while he worked. He was going to bring me medicine for my fever even though we haven't been on speaking terms (because he has been calling me names and occasionally hitting me). Anyway he sent me a text by mistake saying something about a house party. Then he texted "woops that was meant for my bro". I'm not sure if he purposefully "accidentally" sent this just to push my buttons and get a reaction out of me or not. He is sneaky and manipulative like that. Anyhow he tells me he's off of work by text. He says he's going to "pick up some buddah" from his brother before coming home. Well because of the "accidental" text he sent me about the house party I of course texted you are lying pure stopping by a party. He then says "chill out I'm coming home right after". Of course an hour later I start texting getting upset and he then says "god, you dont let me do anything" and from there he shuts his phone off. That was Saturday night. It is now 4:30 am Monday morning on July 4th. He hasn't come home. He contacted me Sunday afternoon telling me I'm so controlling and untrusting. A few hours later I finally got ahold of him by phone call because I blocked the number. Otherwise he would not have answered my call. He then starts playing victim telling me how he just found out his bf has cancer and might die. I of course do not feel bad for him. I instead say, "is that all you care about? What about me and your son? Have you called to check on us or to let me know you're okay?". He hung up and then texted me again saying do not ever talk to him again and our relationship is over and he can't believe I said that. Again playing victim. Total disregard for what he is putting me through. No concern for the fever I've had for three days... Or if I need help or rest. Anyway a little after that I told him to grow up. He said he wanted to and he is coming home and is bringing some of his friends. I almost crapped my pants. I told him no and if he would like to come home I can't stop him but he isn't bringing his drinking and pothead buddies over after he stayed out 24 whole hours partying. He then said "omg what am I supposed to do with these guys then?". I said, "they aren't your children... They can figure it out for themselves. Your child is here at home."

I haven't heard anything since then. I have called and texted him telling him how irresponsible he is being. I sent him a picture of our son sleeping and said, "this is what you're choosing to leave behind to go party. "

Sad to say I think he might be sleeping with girls as well. I just don't see how sex doesn't go hand in hand with binge drinking partyin and drugs... I'm not a fool.

I feel like he always sets it up so that I react unapprovigly and get upset, so he uses our fight that he created as a reason to stay out. It's fourth of July weekend and he has chosen that over his family... And while I have been sick and feverish! This is one small story of many... Many many. Advice? Thoughts? I think he is an alcoholic and also mentally ill in a way... He just can't seem to handle any stress and he is also very abusI've and cruel. The worst is he always has an excuse, denies things and I end up questioning myself and feeling like I'm the one who is crazy? Or a nag or bitch as he puts it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 10:04am

Hi jelly and welcome to the board.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2000
Fri, 07-08-2011 - 6:01pm