I need your HELP!!!!
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I need your HELP!!!!
| Fri, 04-02-2004 - 12:52pm |
I already know that I'm being abused, I'm just SCARED to DEATH to tell him to get out!!! We are not married he lives in my house and I have a 10 yo boy. So far he is only Verbally and Mentally abusive...I know this could change at anytime. I'm not afraid of him I'm afraid of the company he keeps and the threats he has made. Now how much of what he has told me is true?? I don't know but it scares me enough not to want to find out. Supposedly he has mafia connections, he had a gun in the house that I didn't know about he said it's gone but how do I know this? He has a drinking problem and he does drugs. A TRO is not going to do any good this guy thinks he's above the law and he is superior to all of those in authority and especially to women. I won't even get into how he has abused me I'm at my end and I just want him out but I'm afraid. He says things like "You know too much and others are worried your going to turn if things between us don't work out. If you ever did turn you would be sorry" The way I see it the only way to really get to me is through my son and he is evil enough to do something. My reasoning right now, stupid though it might be is, if he's still living with me then in his mind things are fine and my son and I are safe. Like I said it's only verbal and mental RIGHT NOW. I do know that this could change at any time. I don't know how to get out of this and protect my son at the same time. Any advice would be more than welcome at this point.
Thanks for listening/reading

I'm glad to see that you recognize the abuse. Often the mental abuse is hard to recognize. Important step there. I would call your local shelter or the DV hotline and/or an attorney to get a list of options. I am no expert on this, but they are and would be able to give you some ideas. Also, look at the homepage for the safety plan and a check list of everything you should have ready in case you have to leave temporarily. I was very angry to have to leave my house when my ex-fiance went nuts. The police couldn't remove him because he wouldn't do anything in front of them, but for my safety, they suggested I leave. Unfair, but I think it saved me from a beating. Keep that in mind, even if it is your house, you might have to leave if things get violent...at least temporarily. Document everything that happens and keep it hidden in a safe place. I know everyone here will be able to give you even better advice than that. You did the right thing posting here. This board is a lifesaver. Take care, be careful and keep us posted.
Jen
Pepomnt is right.
Just reading that book has made me a stronger person. Ok maybe it's because I'm 800 miles away but I'm really sick and tired of everything.
You are right in everything that you said, about how do I know about his connections. I do know that he does have them but I'm not sure how deep they go. I can't imagine these people would be interested in my boyfriends problems with me, but hey you never know.
When I get back I'm going to start making some plans to end this. You were so RIGHT when you said staying is worse for my son. It still scares me to think about the consequences since my BF has no concept of right and wrong it's all his way and he knows the best way to get back at me is through my son.
Again thank you for sharing with me.
Sandi
I am not letting his threats scare me into staying just have to make a plan since I'm pretty much on my own here. My sister isn't speaking to me anymore because of him and my mom doesn't really want to hear about any of this. They don't understand how I could have gotten myself into this relationship and why I don't just leave. I am thinking of getting them the book Why does he do that? maybe that will help them understand what I'm going through.
I am not looking for sympathy just an occasional listener and you have been a great listener thanks.
Sandi