I think I am being stalked--need input
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| Wed, 10-18-2006 - 8:25pm |
Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 5:01 pm Post subject: Please help--never frightened before now
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I need opinions or advice, and don't know where else to post. I will try to make a long story somewhat shorter. I am separated for 14 mo/divorced 8 mo from a man who is bipolar. I am a psych nurse and went to a Stop Stalking conference this week. I was nauseated when I sat down to the information. Before now, I did not have a name for what he has been doing to me and my kids.
He calls repeatedly, 30-50x in short period until I pick up the phone and if I don't pick up, he comes to my home, knocks on the door, rings the bell and hides to the side of the peephole. He has sent multiple emails begging me to come back, asking for the kids after I have said no.... He attempts to track my comings and goings by calling me, and seemingly innocently asking "What are you doing? Where are you? When will you be home?", stuff like that. He pumps my oldest child for info about my life, dating relationships and phone calls. He will ask to do something "nice" like take kids to church, after there has been an argument. When I refuse (due to making it clear that we are to stick with the visitation outlined in the divorce decree) he starts threatening to take me to court. Last November, there was a "suicide attempt" by OD. In January, he told a friend he had a gun. I did not know this and let my kids go there for the weekend. He then emailed that friend a suicide note and indicated he was going to do it. I went immediately for my children when the friend called. There was no gun. There have been multiple psych admissions. He has hacked into my personal email account and may track my computer.
I guess I am scared because he was real serious last night when he said he was taking me back to court for the kids. He said he had "information" that he could use against me and that "things are going to change". He told me I have no proof of him following me or even calling me. He belittled me as a mother and said my kids don't want to be with me. He seems to be escalating. He will make these threats one day, and act like nothing happened the next. He knows I can't afford an atty and says that I need to start working overtime, because he is going to rack up as many atty fees as possible.
I am confused. I know it is said not to get a VPO, but what happens if he keeps this up. I never felt frightened before now.
Am I being stalked? Any suggestions on what to do? I never wanted to take the kids from him, and I am still not sure if I even have a legal basis to do that, but how am I supposed to protect them when I can't contact him on his weekend with them?

Hi. Welcome to the board Nursechic :o)
He sounds quite dangerous to me of what you said. Do you have a restraining order against him? I am guessing that he is the father of your kids...?? What kind of custody do you have? Sorry I'm asking a lot of questions here, just trying to get some more info from you. Oh, does he have a history or abuse towards you and the children?
I suggest checking out this website: www.womenslaw.org
It also wouldn't hurt to call the DV hotline and see what they have to say.
The number is 1-800-799-SAFE
Keep us updated on what you find out...
Hugs. Lauren
(OMG, I just lost this huge post)
Okay, I see you have a divorce decree, and there is visitation worked into it.
Blueliner4
(aka The Pixie Princess)