I think my mum and dad are toxic?? HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
I think my mum and dad are toxic?? HELP
1
Sat, 06-05-2004 - 1:19pm
Hia friends from over the pond.

Heres the story , , ok......You know my daughter Katy (18) is having lots of problems with panic attacks and self confidence.... etc...

Previous to her having a nervous breakdown in the last couple of months , she had made arrangments to go over to Australia with her trust money that she got on her 18th Birthday.

She really wanted to go , but now finds it overwhelming to go as she finds it hard just going to the shops at the moment , so obviously going all that way is just a bit much for her , and for 6 weeks too !!!.

Anyway , my mum and dad are pushing her to go , saying that she is going to let all them people down , and that shes being selfish , we are talking about 2 people her ( my mum and dad ) who decided to "let" me move into our new house 2 days before they go to Spain , so THEY will have any easy mind?? , they never even helped me move>>. i wanted to wait until they got back , but they insisted that i move before they go away so it wont disrupt their holiday....it seems to me that everything has fit in with them and never mind me??

I have to make arrangments to go to their house quite a lot , and i dont think its right.......do u!!

I think and Katy thinks that if she doesnt go to Australia , they will fall out with us......need advice quickly please....

Tracey x thanks

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-05-2004 - 3:05pm
Huge Hugs Tracey! Personally I feel that if Katy needs to stay home with you instead of going, then she should by all means stay! Maybe instead the two of you could take a few days of holiday somewhere, just the two of you and have a Girls Holiday Out! Maybe find a spa and the two of you could do the whole routine, pedicures, manicures, massages and just pampered like we all need now and then!

Once Katy gets more counseling and she can regain her selfconfidence, then if she wishes to go to Austrailia she can. There is no sense in her forcing herself to go to only get there and be totally miserable. It will just make it all worse.

Your parents may have the best intention in mind, they are working off old ideals and old ways of supposidly handling problems. The old, "change of scenery" routine is not always the right way.

Also, alot of parents haven't a clue to what we have gone through while we were living in our abusive situations. They push for this happy go lucky attitude when in reality we have to sit down and regain our thoughts just so we can put our clothes on straight!

Give Katy a huge hug, and I think that by both of you standing your ground, maybe, not sure but maybe, others will see that the two of you just got out of a terrible situation and just need some time off from the world!

Tomorrow will always look brighter when you learn to enjoy your todays!

Hugs to both of you!