I told him I didnt want to move back in
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| Thu, 09-21-2006 - 2:44pm |
I saw my husband today. If you read my first post you know that I live with my parents and he is living in a half way house. Three weeks ago he tried to kill me and is working very hard to get me to move back in with him when he finishes this program. I told him today that I didnt want to move back in with him when he gets his own place. I told him I was scared of him and of how our relationship has always been and do not want that back. He told me that he understood how I could feel that way, but he wants me to think about it and get into counseling to make sure I really wanted our family split up.
He got a little upset and told me that he didnt want to work so hard on getting every thing the way I say they need to be (I tell him that he needs to get his life straight for himself and no one else) if there is no chance we will be a family again.
I told him I would go to counseling and that I just need some time to think about everything without him tracking my every move and he agreed. I was really surprised he was as calm and easy going as he was.
I just hope he will respect me enough to give me the space I need.
Wish me luck.
Crystal

I am proud of you!! Good Luck with everything.
I also want to say it is normal for abusive men to get upset when you tell them bad news about you not moving back in or breaking up. They want us to feel guilty. They want us to feel sad for them and to take them back. I have learned this a lot lately about how they do this. When they say sorry after they hit you, they do not mean it. They say it to make us feel better, but we don't feel better for long. It is a rollercoaster. I do understand how difficult it is to not believe them. I believed my abuser over and over again but eventually I could see right thru him. I knew he wasn't sorry and he was just gonna do it again even though he swore he wouldn't. Just want to give you a heads up.
Good Luck with counselling.. and way to go. I am proud of you for taking that step.
Lauren
I know he is most likely making up stories. I am ok with that. I totally expected him to get all pissed and irrational on me. I was shocked he remained calm through out the whole conversation. He is still texting me and calling, but I can ignore him. I know he wont show up here cuz he is afraid of my dad. My dad is a cop and he think dad will take him to jail for driving on a suspended license. Dad said he wont take him to jail because he dont want the kids to know that he arrested their dad. But I wont tell him that :D
Thanks for the encouragement. It helps to know there is someone there to listen right now.
Crystal