I told my parents...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
I told my parents...
2
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 6:48pm
I finally told my parents about everything. Big step for me. And it went well. Much better than I expected. They responded with thoughtful ideas rather than freaking out and trying to rush me out of the house.. My dad suggested a trial separation with weekly "family visits," as a way to perhaps encourage him to get some counseling and realize what he would lose if he doesn't. I know, maybe not ideal scenario, but... At any rate, I am feeling somewhat better that they know and understand that I am not just overreacting to things.

I feel kind of bad for my parents though. Despite having what I would characterize as a very normal and stable upbringing, both I and my sister have been in abusive marriages, my sister twice. They are very much feeling the "what did we do wrong" type of thing right now...

Anyway, wanted to share and encourage anyone else to fill their family in if possible. Even if mine would have responded poorly, I think I would have felt better just not keeping such a big secret anymore.

MG

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 12:59am

That is really great news!

CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for bama1gal
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 5:21pm
MG, don't you think that first step will now lead to other steps? For me, telling sweetdreams and my parents opened the floodgates. If I had to estimate, from the time I first told those closest to me, I was out of the house in less than a year. I told sweetdreams in the fall of 2002, and my parents around Christmas 2002, and I was out of the house by Memorial Day 2003. It was almost like, once it was out in the open, I knew I couldn't stay there any longer. It was the real first step to leaving.

Don't you also feel that the next step is going to be much easier for you? I was so incredibly scared to tell that once I did, and it went as well as your telling did, it was like this thing happened in me that made me feel like now I could accomplish anything. It made all the following steps much easier.

MG, this was a huge step and I'm so glad that it went well. Whether you realize it or not, you are on the way to setting your boundaries and possibly escaping. I watch you taking the same steps that I took in a very similar way. Know that you are doing the right thing and that you are on the right path.

Peace and hugs :-)

Cheryl