I went to church today!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
I went to church today!
2
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 3:31pm
I did it. I went to church today! I am so proud. It was really scarey since I have developed a nasty case of agoraphobia, but when I got realy anxious I just got up and went to the bathroom, let it out, and went back in. H isn't home. Its really peaceful! I didn't mention the religion thing in my first post. H told me a year ago he would attend services with me as long as I didn't argue with him, and call him any names etc(he always calls me names, and I called them back.). Well he started bullying me soon after the committment, and I tried to not argue for a long time, but then in the last several months since Christmas he stopped us from going saying "you renigged on your promise". I knew in my heart it wasn't right. But today I went alone. I arranged for my car to be home last night so that I had a ride. Older son and I have to share a car. H drives the new one. Whatever. Mom told me that she loved me and that no matter what God would take care of us. Of course I have to do my part too and accept that H is abusive, and that I can not change him, that I have to change me. I admit I am frightened about my income changing, the possibility of moving, having to seek outside employment etc. but I know that I am not left alone in this. That each day will be a new adventure. That life may become hard for awhile but that a new day awaits outside of the birdcage. I just have to learn to spread my wings and fly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 3:38pm

How awesome !!! I know how you feel. I am sooo depressed I go no where cept where I have to. I actually HATE being out. I don't know. So much work. I like you have medical issues also, maybe that is part of it. The fighting and mental stress is sooo much I feel like I am too dang full to even get the energy up to do anything and go anywhere. Then I get knocked for NOT wanting to do anything LMAO hello.

Anyway you sound like your head is in the rite place. Congrats on the big victory. You go girl.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 7:05pm
Ohhhhh!!
5yrssm