I'm certified...straight crazy
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|Sat, 03-10-2012 - 12:48pm|
So I haven't whined in a little while. My ex and I have no legal barriers, at this time. He has asked to take our daughter (reminder- he has supervised visitation, but was kicked out of the state supervision facility, so really no rights at this time) and I will NOT let him. I give in to him so much...HELLO, i'm alone today and a big, depressed, lonely woman raising another child solo...but this child doesn't have a father that pays 'real' child support (the amount is pathetic and he doesn't pay the full amount anyway) and her father is an abuser. I have let him do everything to me and I actually understand where he could be mad at me for some stuff- like calling the cops over his terrorizing texts, he gets charged, I take him back...I only called the cops 1x from an assault...but regardless...I have given in, allowed him to pretty much deplete me. But I will not give in when it comes to my baby. He can make the court make me. If he tt me like a human being, I'd probably let him see her at MY family member's house..but NO he simply CAN'T be good to me. Remember, we live within minutes of each other..so I just had foot surgery again..I went to Rite Aid, saw him, he asked where baby is, I explain my mom's..I get a rant of hell, how MY parents think their her parents, why doesn't anyone call him for HIS daughter? MY daughter is going to HATE me for destroying THEIR relationship...to a phone call (from an unblocked #) with more of the same shyt...hating on me, my family..hanging up.
She is 2 and he had rights. HE LEFT HER. HE SKIPPED VISITS. HE CHOSE TO PARTY AND LIVE HIGH W/ MONEY AND DRUGS AND SKAGS..HE ENDED UP W/ SUPERVISED..HE LOST THAT. I AM NOT GOD!!! HE COULD CLEAN UP LIFE, GO TO COURT AND FIGHT ME...but no, at this time, he just wants me to give in to him. let him come over to see her. I CANT DO that anymore! I try to explain to him that i can't have him 'come over'...I can't be around him...stupid enough, it's too hard..plus he doesn't deserve to be here...So I kinda slammed him w/ some words about he f'd up, he needs to fix it, I'm not going out on a ledge for him, i need to do whats best for ME and our baby..and so much more..SO HERE's the point...
I get a letter today. He says to never contact him, and he won't contact me. He hates me for what I've done to him..I'm so manipulative and he will take the hate to his grave..I will never hear his voice again. (I blocked him and won't answer any #'s I don't know)..I DON"T UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S ME? WHAT IS IT THAT I'M GOING???????
And why don't I hate him like that? I have waves of hate..(striving for apathy)..this prick has gotten away w/ SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH! I just won't give in when it comes to our daughter. Why can't he just man up. Why do i care that he hates me? f him.
Ok, this went waaayy longer than it should. I want to respond SO BAD!!!! but I have to accept that I will always be wrong in his eyes. He always always always has a reason for 'why he treats me this way'. and right now it's because I won't let him take my daughter. He even talks about how his family doesnt' know her..ok..guess what? IF I had a grandchild, and my son/daughter was a sucky parent, I would still see my grandchild! But you know, his mom, brothers..they're all the same. i guess he had to have the last word since I blocked him.