I'm On a Countdown ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
I'm On a Countdown ....
2
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:05am
This one's going to be long so thanks for reading....I feel like i'm on a countdown like its just a matter of when not if my H looses it.

Things have been ok but he moved out yesterday and already the guilt is just about overwhelming. He is being very nice and totally taking responsibilty for all his previous actions and that's all fine and good but I just don't trust him, which I've told him! The last night he spent here he was sobbing not just a few tears which in the past have been shead (just enough to make me feel sorry for him) this time he was soooo upset and I know its all because he wants me to cave in and let him stay or at this stage come home. I mean the plan is he goes and stays at his friends for a month or longer and give me some space which he is doing but I am so weak I just don't know if I have the strength to go through all of this again. I don't want all the game playing and head games to start and I know he is soooo capable of it beacuse he has done it before when we separated the first time 8 years ago.... i don't know anymore its all so hard my roof started leaking last night water pouring down the inside wall I mean this is not what I need right now I am so tired I've had about 4 hrs sleep the last two nights and that's broken sleep at that! I have to work all day tomorrow which for me is a huge day I have a really bad feeling my tummy aches are more than just that and the Chron's might be flaring up...funny that maybe because of all the stress I am under at the moment.

I off to have a lay down I just can't even think straight at the moment.....

thanks for listening guys hugs M

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 1:55pm

Hi hurty -


The tears he's crying are crocodile tears.

CL-Blueliner4

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-07-2004 - 3:23pm
Hugs hurtylots, I cannot agree more with blue! Abusers use confusion, manipulation, isolation, misdirection, anything that will keep us so off balance we no longer can make sense of it. This is usually where we just end up going along with their insanity because we don't know any better.

Take this time to contact your local shelter and see what resources they have that can help you through this time. They offer many services like counseling, financial aid, legal aid, and all with trained abuse professionals.

He's got you off balance, so it's time to reclaim your sanity and don't fall for his crocodile tears. He's trying very hard to catch you off guard and play on your sympathies, which you don't have to let him do.

Be strong girl! And keep posting, asking and venting here as we know what you're going through!

Hugs