i'm so scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
i'm so scared
21
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 8:39am
he got upset about something last night, something that didn't have anything to do with me, but i didn't want him to start arguing with me so i went to bed early. He woke me up hours later and started to yell at me. i told him to stop, to please let me go to sleep that im sorry (i dont know why). he climbed on top of me and held me by my face and said if i leave him, this time he will kill me and then he punched me in the face. i dont even know what else to write

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 8:47am
Oh, JJ...big hugs, honey! This is what many of us here feared. Please, please call the police---this is assault (him punching you in the face). Call a local or even a far away shelter and arrange for them to pick you up. LEAVE EVERYTHING. There is NO value in any of your possessions--the only value is YOU!! He is the worst kind of abuser, and his abuse will only escalate--it will NEVER get better, it will NEVER end.

I'm praying for you honey!!!!! Please stay safe and really make a plan!!

dharma

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 9:16am
Oh JJ sweetheart, I agree w/Dharma.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 2:35pm
jj...I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 2:58pm
thanks to everyone who replied. i am so scared of staying i need to leave, but i am much more scared of leaving. what if he's serious, he cracked me with the phone on the back of my head when i picked it up today. i'm really scared. what if i do leave and he comes and hurts me worse than last time, i have no energy for this again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 3:43pm
Oh JJ, I wish I could come over there and grab you and the dog and just make a mad dash out of there, I really do.
Avatar for psychick2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 4:02pm
Hello JJ, I just got out of one class, and will be leaving in an hour for the next class, but I wanted to try to help you before I have to go. Hon, I understand that you are afraid of what he might do if you leave. Sweetie, he's counting on you being too afraid to contact the police. He's instilling fear in you in an attempt to try to force you into doing what he wants. This is all about power and control. As long as the police are not involved, and you stay where you are, his behavior will change; IT WILL GET MUCH MUCH WORSE! Go to the police station, and file a report. Have them take pictures of your face and your head. Get it out in the open. That brings his dirty little secret (abusing you) out into public view. The laws attention will be on him. If you remain with him, he will escalate his abuse until you are seriously injured, or killed. The only chance you have for life, is if you take back your power and your control and contact the authorities. Press assault charges against him. Get yourself to a shelter. See a counselor who can help you with programs while you are changing your life. If he's threatening to kill you, as a way to keep you there, then sweety, the scary thing is, that thought is already on his mind to begin with. He will continue to abuse you, and it will get worse. I feel that your life is in danger if you remain with him, and he says he will kill you if you leave. Hon, your better chance of being free to live life the way you want is if you go to a shelter, press charges against him, have that RO enforced, or get another RO if need be. I'm very worried for you. Please stay safe!
Avatar for buffphone
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 5:39pm
Gentle hugs JJ! Everyone is so right on with this, please call 911 and not only report this but have them send a couple officers to take you to the nearest shelter where he cannot find you.

You have to do this JJ or he will eventually kill you. Make sure the officers know that he has not only hit you but has threatened your life. They will get you to a safe house.

If the local police cannot respond quick enough, try and get a call to the state police.

Also just for your information, if you have a cellphone, reguardless if you have a plan or not, it will call 911. If you can program it to dial 911. If you can't use the house phone, then hopefully you can use the cellphone.

Hugs and Prayers

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 8:21pm
Oh my god. I agree with what everyone said. they gave good advice. Especially if you can call 911 and put the phone down like someone said, maybe while he's in the bathroom. if he starts anything too they will hear it and it will be recorded. if you can't do that and you have someway to get out of the house, tell him you have to walk the dog to get fresh air, go to a payphone, neighbors house, anywhere you can where you can use a phone. That is scary, I've been in this situation where i tried to run out the door too, (as the police station used to be a 1 minute run down the street) and he's blocked my exit. I'm glad those days are over. I wish i had the strength and support that I have today to do what i had to do in the past. Don't Stay! Like someone else said, if he cracked you hard enough he could've even split your head open. I watch a lot of forensic files and things like that. It DOES happen! lots of prayers to you. please keep posting and have us updated so we know you're ok. hugs nicole
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 8:32pm
Hi jj,

I'm praying for God to give you the strength to do what you must do RIGHT NOW in order to survive. GET HELP & GET OUT, NOW!!

Barbara

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 9:58pm
JJ...I am so so sorry you have had this experience...but, PLEASE, please, listen to what everyone is saying. Get out, stay safe. You must think of yourself first...sweetie, I just am sending you so many ((((hugs)))), I pray you will be able and willing to GET OUT and call police and a shelter. It is time.

Pages