Insanity
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| Wed, 11-30-2005 - 2:24pm |
Hi All:
Ok, So for the past two and a half weeks, he has been trying to get back with me. Like an idiot, I have talked to him and met him for lunch and met him for church.
My Birthdy was this weekend, he asked to take me out, he sent me a singing telegram, he bought me a present. He wanted originally to take me to a hotel for the night, I said NO. He said he bought us a trip to brazil for my birthday, I said no. I told him we are not back together until he gets help. He said I am getting help.
Of course, this weekend on my birthday, it was all about him and how I was not acting loving towards him in the way he wanted on my birthday. He left me at the restraunt (I had my own car) went out with his freaky cousin, got drunk, called me and said I was horrible to him, he did so much for me on my birthday and that I am an abuser.
THEN he went to his counselor yesterday and yes yes yes, she confirmed for him that I am the abuser, he is the victim. It is all me. blah blah blah.
I just told him we are over for good. Nothing will ever change and I am so much stronger now and I don't need him or his crap. He told me he hates me and he will never forgive me for abusing him and not admitting that I did. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.
This is not love. THis is stupidity. This is insanity. Why did I do this again.
I am no hurt though. I am just mad at myself for thinking anything would have changed. I just set up a rule in my mailbox to permanently delete any email he sends to me. I will not answer if he calls and if he EVER EVER shows up at my home, I am calling 911, no exceptions.
When I went to church a week ago Sunday, I asked God for my sign. He sent a whole heck of alot of them in 7 days.
Nothing will ever be different and now it is all about me!!!! Me me me me me. I will be happy!!! I refuse to let him ever bring darness and sadness and anger to my heart again.

Ugh. But seriously, happy birthday! And I hope you cherish the biggest gift of all -- the realization that this dude has more issues than you can deal with, and your life is better without him. Good luck, and stay strong!
--Fran
Happy belated birthday, hon!
CL-Blueliner4
Yup, it's insanity, and it's all his.