Intensley Frustrated
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Intensley Frustrated
| Mon, 01-17-2005 - 5:29pm |
I have been in an emotionally abusive marriage for 5 years. I left my husband 3 years ago. Despite my resolve to get out of the marriage, I have remained in a relationship with my husband until recent. We had a disagreement 3 weeks ago and I have not heard from him since.His warnings to me were that if I did not change my attitude,he would move on with his life. He has not even called his 5 year old daughter.Perhaps this is the best thing for us, although I don't feel this way. My frustration is within myself. Why do I continue to allow myself to be tormented mentally and emotionally? Why can't I sever the ties both emotionally and mentally? I know that he does not love me or our daughter and that he relatonship is psychologically harmful to both of us. Yet, I feel depressed and empty. I was once a strong and self directive person. Now I have allowed myself to be reduced to a fragile, weak, ball of confusion. I am determined to regain my life....but God is it hard.

Dearest mizquik!!! and you are you know...I know exactly what you are going through...I've been "out" of my marriage for 4 months now and believe me at first it was VERY HARD! I missed him, missed his touch, missed his voice. I would even call his cell phone just to hear his voice...After the huge (verbal and foul) arguement that he, his nasty 18 year old daughter and I had in my front yard two weeks ago, I no longer care what he does. If you've read any of my posts, you would understand what I mean.
I do not, nor will I ever understand why, men (expecially husbands), feel that we have never deserved the respect we deserve. After all, did we not put up with them scratching their crotches, washing their F**T stained underwear, cleaning their PEE up from the floor of the bathrooms, picking their noses, taking care of the vomit when they got too drunk and putting up with their abusive teenage children (the last of which I did)...Explain this to me...Some men can be absolutely wonderful, (where are they), and others can be absolute PUKES!!! (The latter as being what I seem to attract).
Any way, I have gotten my haircut, joined a gym and am determined to better myself, NO MATTER WHAT!!! My kids are gunho about this as they want me to lose weight, quit smoking and BE THE BEST I CAN BE!! I love my KIDS!!! They are my life line and depend on them more than I should!
Take care of yourself and keep posting!!! We are all here for you!