The Irony of a Court Date
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| Wed, 12-01-2004 - 4:39pm |
I got my court paper in the mail yesterday. We filed papers on September 29 so I was assuming it would take six months since it's uncontested. Well, I was surprised to find the envelope with the Judge's return address and opened up to find a final court date set. The date............FEBRUARY 14.........HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!! Wow!!! At first when I saw the envelope I was happy that it was finally here. Then I looked at the date. I had mixed emotions......I was happy but yet it's a finality. A finality to a 27 year marriage. It's scarey. And the only reason why I feel sick inside is because I feel bad for him. Why? Why? Why? Then he called me to let me know what his doctor said about his blood pressure. He asked me if I got my mail. I played dumb and his exact words were "you'll be a free woman in 74 days." Hmmmm......free. Shouldn't I have been free when I was married? Then I asked him when the court date was and he said matter of factly "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm happy, but scared. I won't have health insurance then. I'll have to pay for it and I'm not sure if I can afford it. I don't know. It's just somewhat scarey. Can anybody relate to this?
Two 1/2 more months......ending a 27 year marriage. It's kind of sad, but then I get angry cause I wasted at least 25 years of my life being unhappy.
Happy (I think)

It's okay to have mixed feelings about the end of the marriage!
I know it's hard when you think about all those years you invested. If have yet to get as far as you, hopefully it will come soon. I don't know how I will feel when I get them, but I will probably have some mixed emotions too. If you think of it though, it is simply just a life change and one for the better. I was worried about health insurance too, but fortunately I was able to obtain some through my job. It is scary to think of what you will be able to afford or not. Fortunately there are alot of federal programs out there if you need them.
Think back on the Valentine's Days of the past...how romantic and fun were they? Old Wendell would say that is just another day for people to make $$$. Finally you will be able to have fun on that day!
Terry
I absolutely agree that valentine's day is just to expliot our wallets and expose our vunrabilities. I was brought up in Poland where there was no valentine's day till recently. There used to be Woman's Day though on the 8th of March. One could see all those men carrying red flowers with them all day. Some of them looked so sad and pathetic. Some women wandered "Is it the only day of the year when we can expect men to appreciate us and our hardships intrinsic only to womenhood? What about other days of the year?" What Valentine day does it exposes those who are single and make them feel like loosers and threatens those who are in abusive relationships and want to get out. For me it is just another way of controling the society. Love should come from the heart and be expressed by one's actions and not from Valentine's Cards and keeping up appearances as well as puting dirty secrets under the carpet.
I just want to add that I always receive Valentine Card from my mother which is always inappropriate ( usually her choice of card is like one for hot lovers) and it is extremely abusive an act for me and makes me feel that my brain just got burned out and what is left of it is just handful of dust.
Also once I have met my ex in the crowded London tube on Valentine's Day and that had a very irrational impact on me. It had basically opened up terrible wounds of my soul. That is what those stupid man-invented anniversaries do to you. It is like winnning lottery - chance is one in a milion but if you win is it just luck or predestination?
And i guess it is hard if one is into superstition to rationalize it. As i mentioned in my posts i broke off with a boyfriend because of his sheer and cruel neglect in the time i needed him to b around. But recently i missed him as i was remembering when we got so plesently suprised to have discovered that we both are commited into buying the same brand of trainers. Its ridiculous that these kind of stupid believes can blind one's judgement even for a moment.
Keep strong and dont let valentine's day screw the rest your life.