It never ends...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
It never ends...
6
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 11:56am
Ok most of you read my details as to whats been happening. My ex is trying to kick me out of the home the kids and I have lived in for nearly 2 years because he wants back in here. Our home is on a quarter section of land and suddenly he believes he needs to be here. He claims he has things he needs to do here like fix fences...blah blah blah. Anyway to make a story short...this is my weekend with the kids...yesterday afternoon he hung around outside here for over 5 hours and right through my supper hour. The kids didn't want to come in for supper because they were working on things outside.

First of all he doesn't need to be here. If there were things here that he needed to work on for his job..fine..maybe I could understand. But realitically..he doesn't need to be here.

He's coming back again today..to go shoot gophers and asked my son if he wants to go with him. Again..not necessary for him being on the land shooting gophers.

Restraining order? Well had one...but a year ago we were getting along great...and it was just proving more difficult having it then it was to not have it. So "he" convinced me to drop it or he would make things more difficult for me. So I dropped it.

I told him I want my privacy on my weekends with the kids at home. He told me, "well its not like you guys have anything planned anyway because I asked DS".

I can't stan him being here. Its like I get a clostraphobic feeling when he is here. Yesterday I had a migraine all day and was very sick and last night I ended up with major pains in my stomach. He is in my territory..and he's trying to show me now how much he needs to be here..by constantly hanging around here now and doing things outside.

My gosh I just want it to end. It never will...he's always going to have that control over me. If its still this bad after almost 2 years...it will never change.

My gosh I can't stand him anymore..I'm becoming so angry now...that its playing on me physically and I feel sick all the time.

When we split up at first...it was depression..it was horrible...now its anger...stress...anxiety...and physically sick.

What am I supposed to do now??

Please I need your help or I'm going to end up in the hospital after snapping...or from being physically worn.

By the way..he doesn't come in my house..he stays away from that..but its still not nice having him hang around in the yard all day long.

If anyone things he is doing this because he enjoys being around me..that is incorrect..him and I have a very clear understanding that we will NEVER get back together. He is doing this to try and prove a point AND because he knows how much it bothers me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 4:28pm

Hi Brooke...I'm really confused here.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 4:42pm
Brooke, I'm sorry things are going lousy for you right now. I have been trying to talk myself into just leaving my house. I've been wondering what to do for a plan for over a year, and I still can't get the courage enough to do anything. I've been staying here for that very reason, the house. My name is not even on this house, I am just afraid to end up somewhere low housing, and my kids get will get screwed up worse than they already are. It might be worth thinking about moving out, and giving him his house back, you have to do this eventually right?! Then you won't have to deal with his crap! I know, easier said than done. I hope it all works out for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 4:43pm
Also...what did the lawyer say your rights were vs. his rights to the property?

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 7:36pm
Yes your right this was land inherited to him from his father before we even met. However OUR home is on the property. As I said in my first e=mail that I left here a few days ago...he is trying to kick me out and leave me homeless.

Even though this is land inherited to him..I also don't believe that I need nor should I walk away from here with the shirt on my back and leave my kids behind because I'll be homeless.

In our years of marriage..I stayed home and raised our children..did the books and dispatching from home for OUR business...from THIS home...when he was in jail for sexual assault or should I say "raping" a woman. *he was sentanced just after i found out i was pregnant with our son*.I ran his business...raised his son and looked after THIS home on HIS land.

So...Yes it was his land...but I do know that I do deserve $$'s in the amount of how much the land value has increased since we've been together.

When I was given the restraining order...it ordered him out of this house. He left...and now says he will give me to the end of june to get my stuff out.

THEN I am homeless as I said in my e-mail.

Everytime I have had a lawyer..he has threatened me OR conned me into dropping my lawyer.

I have an appt this friday with a new laywer and I will find out then what my options are. This is my children's home...my children have thrived in the last year ..and have accepted the idea of mom and dad not being together. My daughter had emotional problems at school and has thrived in the last 6 months. My son who went to 3 years of speech therapy when he was 3-6 years old (he is now nine) for stuttering...caught drift that we may be moving away from his home...his school...his friends...and he has now turned around after 3 years and began stuttering again. My daughter will lose all the self confidence ...self esteem she, the staff at her school, and myself have worked so hard on building..if we are thrown out of our home and have to move. Or if I lose custody of them because I cannot provide a home for them.

THAT is the scoop on him owning the land. I also had an inheritance that I put down on the home we are living in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 7:40pm
...and regardless of him inheriting the land..does that give him the right to hang around in the yard every weekend when i have the kids?? what happened to my privacy?? he doesn't want to stay home and "lick his nuts" in his words. So he hangs around in my yard????

I don't agree with him doing that..this is what has me so upset...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 2:36am

Hi brooke…I don’t blame you for being upset that he’s hanging out around the yard on weekends, I wouldn’t like it either, and I’m really sorry that you’re going through this.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou