It is very hard to be strong and not go back

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2000
It is very hard to be strong and not go back
11
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 5:05pm

Hello ladies,

I've been here before.

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Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 6:34pm

Fun, consider this:

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2000
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 10:18am

Thanks very much for responding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 3:40pm
That is wonderful that you are going to seek professional help!

Will this be the first time?
Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Fri, 01-14-2011 - 6:12pm
Fun, it is my deepest prayer that you NEVER return to that house and him again. You have been through pure hell and have been so deeply conditioned by him, I hope and pray you will continue to seek healing and renewal through a professional therapist. This will help you so, so much. Ask the shelter to help you in every way that they can. And one thing I would like for you to consider that will help you in your healing so much - practice NO CONTACT, NO CONTACT, NO CONTACT. There is nothing you need to be in contact with him for. If he can sit there and beat the crap out of you he can pick up a phone and call for help. Or you can pick up a phone and call a home health agency to go in and assess him for what he needs in the way of care. I can almost guarantee they will recommend long term care, where his safety, health and nutritional needs will be med. You HAVE been a good wife, but he has been a HORRIBLE, ABUSIVE husband and you owe him nothing. My prayers for you, that you will find strength, peace, courage and stick to your decision to stay out.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2000
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 12:52pm

No not the first time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 2:08pm

Funbuz, there ARE people to help him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 2:11pm

contact the local hospice...his situation is exactly why they were developed in the first place. Ok not the abusive part but the dying part. They are trained specialists who can make his last days easier and comfortable and take the

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 7:29pm
Excellent post, Kat!

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2000
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 1:59pm

Thanks for your suggestion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 2:06pm
He's in the house by himself, but he has food, etc. Where is it, in his bedroom? If it's downstairs in the kitchen, he can certainly get down the stairs to open the door for Home Health Care people. Even if he can't, you could be there to open the door and stay downstairs while they go up and talk to him.

Funbuz, it has gone past the point of his being able to dictate who comes into the house. He needs help, and you aren't able to provide it. Remember that he has abused you severely throughout your marriage. If he is upset because people come into the house to help him, it's only a fraction of what he deserves.

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