it's christmas and it's been 1 week

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
it's christmas and it's been 1 week
16
Mon, 12-25-2006 - 10:21am

It's been 1 week since I broke up but today I don't feel broken up as much as I feel alone. Lots of dreams about confusion where the relationship is.....together or not...I feel lonely..my son is at dad's house...I'm going to go to a friend's home but the holiday brings up some really good past memories....and it leaves a bit of a hole inside.

Maybe I'll buy myself some gifts! It sounds selfish, but I want something too

Happy, happy holiday!!!! My love to you all...for being on this site, for listening and sharing...so that we all get stronger and know we deserve goodnerss and respect.
Beth

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 9:12pm

I had/have my kids ...their dad threatened ....but it all worked out. He and I split up when they were pretty young. And actually the last few years we're on decent terms ...but he was a royal jerk before...drinks/smokes pot... Yes it's Al-Anon-it helps deal with the alcohol abuse and the focus is self-care...lots of hugs and support. It's a life saver for me. It is awful when they know about parent and booze . I remember my son crying because his dad was too drunk to drive him to a friend's house. You're getting help-you're daughter's will too. And it will be o.k. You're being the responsible parent.

You're right-they will all be pissed. The mother-in-law? She helped raise your abusive husband.....she's in total denial.....Just get support for you and kids....and get help with dealing with her which actually you don't have to have that much contact. Don't worry too much about her....just do the next right thing and take steps for you and kids....You are not alone! Al-Anon can help with her too .

Your husband on his best behavior? The second you "cross" him, i.e. stand up for yourself/deserve respect/voice an opinion.... his inner a**hole will be right there. Yelling, sneering, demeaning you.

I got a lovey e-mail from my partner ...I felt confused....and lo and behold when I didn't e-mail back that I believed she was "faithful" and "wonderful" the last message wasn't too warm!!!!!! I strongly suspect she had/has an affair-she's trying everything to convince me that what I see, feel, think and experience is invalid.....which makes me believe it all the more. Also, from being empathetic to me it's now "how awful it is to be accused of such a vile act" and "oh, well...if you don't believe me I guess I'll see you in the park sometime..." I got a milli-second of empathy. And pathetically enough I started to hope she "got it",that shew undeerstood how painful it's been, how intolerable to be rejected......but nope. It's about her. Her feelings, her image, her frustration at failing to convince me that she's true-blue.

In a way it's a blessing. I was about to get back on that rollercoaster for a few crumbs of stale, moldy bread.

Instead....I ordered the ring :) and I went to my vet today and picked up a cat that was abandoned and needs a temporary or forever home....we'll see how tmy dogs and he work it out! I may as well give love and caring to an innocent creature that deserves it-and didn't deserve to be abandoned by the people who were supposed to care for it.

Take care Dakota, hugs to you and the girls...keep moving forward....post and read the posts here for encouragement. I think being in transition is very hard....when I can't sleep or feel anxious/depressed I tell myself that most worthwhile things aren't easy, that this too shall pass , that it is worth the freedom and the clarity and the ability to live my life.....and to have loving people in my life.

Hang in there!
Beth

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 12:25am

Hi there Beth! I had to respond here, cause I'm so encouraged by your post! You're wonderfully supportive and finding you again. I'm so glad you found a kitty that needed you. Let us know how that works. Whether it be a foster parent or adoptive, you'll make a great difference.

I hope you keep the ring, if it fits you. When I stopped wearing mine, I tried replacing it w/ my Grandmothers birthsone, same as mine. Not quite the fit. I do have an idea for resetting the stones though. As long as I have her w/ me, it'll be fine.

Hope you make a post soon!

Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 2:51pm

Hi Carrie,

I'm going to start a new discussion since Christmas is now more than a week past.

The kitty is working out pretty well considering it's not even 24 hours yet. I have to supervise my dogs with him i.e. no chasing the cat, and I have to supervise the kitty with my parrot....no eating the bird

The ring-I ordered it so we'll see :) . I put the rings on this morning that she gave me, I felt so sad. But after about an hour I took them off. The next time I visit my son in NY I'm going to have a mother's ring made.....and I will never take it off!!!!!!

Hope all is well,
Beth

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 1:25pm

>>.I feel like something is up with him but i don't know what. I think he's trying to
play mind games with me because he senses something's up.<<

Bingo.

C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 1:32pm

>>I put the rings on this morning that she gave me, I felt so sad. But after about an hour I took them off.<<

Pawn them. Use the money for your new ruby ring or towards the mother ring you deserve.
Rubies and garnets are my favorite stones, too. Just got a quarter-sized raw ruby pendant set in silver from an online friend in India. Bargain!! And I love it. :)

Pawn them.

Anony-mouse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 2:46pm

I hear you!!!!!I'm waiting for the mother ring til I find something that really speaks to me design wise.....and I'll never have to take it off!!!!!!

Happy New Year Ms. Mouse

Beth
p.s. took in a kitty that someone left in a cage on my vet's doorstep!

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