just another day..... ugghhh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
just another day..... ugghhh
1
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 11:20am
Hi Everyone.

I know I seem to be crying on a lot of shoulders here lately and I really appreciate you all listening to me and giving me feedback you would not beleive how so very much it helps. It hurts but helps at the same time.

I woke up this morning again missing him.. go figure the smell of bacon! He always made breakfast for me on the weekends and my dad was up making breakfast. I just laid there and cried. I want to call him so bad but I know I can't. There are just so many decisions to make and I need to talk to him to make them. I don't know what do to about our house. Should I just give notice on our house and move my stuff out? Because neither of us can afford it alone. If I do that I need to find a new place to live so I can get my kids, I do have a daughter also who lived with me and dh.. who has seen way to much and he even pushed her one day. but I have to be able to register her in school somewhere. My son wants to go to my parents school district and they said we can stay with them but I cant stay here long we are already driving each other crazy and I have only been here since sunday night.

Pretty ironic I talked to my ex that I have split up for over 3 years and we talked last night for about 3 hours and we went throught a lot together. we were with each other for 13 years. my dd is his child. my ds was before him but he always claimed him as his. because we got together when he was 6 months old. But he made something and I just keep replaying it in my head. he said he had put me through enough crap and that i shouldnt have to go through any more with someone else that i deserve to be happy and all that. He said you know I will always be here for you if you need anything to talk or whatever. He has changed a lot and we just had a lot to talk about. You can really see we both grown up a lot. I was 19 and he was 29 when we got together. now i am 35 and he is 45. big difference.

Im just so confused on everything I feel like I cant see up... The pain wasnt quite as bad as it has been and I am sure each day will be different. My mom and sister have been planning a vacation for a couple months and they leave tomorrow and they were nice enough to offer to take me and my kids so we are going to go with them. We are going to leave tomorrow and not come home until tuesday. im printing out some of your responses to take with me because when i read them i feel better. so if i start to lose it there.. it will help!

any advice will help.. thanks again for everything

huge hugs

shell

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 1:19pm

Shell, I think this is absolutely the thing you need, the vacation.

CL-Blueliner4