Just checking in...

Avatar for alwaysagardenia
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Just checking in...
13
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 8:30pm
OMG I haven't been on the board in *so* long!!! I see a bunch of newbies & some oldies! Either way I hope that everyone is doing well. To the newbies...this is a great board...full of very supportive & nonjudgemental women. I don't know if i would've made it this far without this board & the women on it!

Since the last time that I was here so much has happened! I finally left my H after yet another one of his drunken rages. Though I was hoping to do it more planned it ended up with me taking my DD, my cat & getting in my car while he was at work. He wasn't violent that last time but he was screaming, cussing & then he spit in my face when I picked up my DD who was scared of him. That was all I needed to have had enough. Since then I've gotten my stuff from the house & we stayed with my grandmother for a bit. Everything my H said he was going to do if I left & took my DD was all a bunch of lies. When I left all he did was leave about 20 msges on my cellphone. Crying. Saying he was sorry...blah blah blah. Then he got threatening. Once he was served with papers he was nice again. Don't know if any of you remember but my original plan was to try to get a PO. Well I didn't get one because at the time I didn't feel it was neccesary. My DD & I are living in Orange County now (WHEW!)& my H is still 500 miles away. He hasn't done anything about it. He cries he wants to see our DD but each time he was going to come he hasn't.

My DD does occasionally ask where he is but not really that much. She is behaving so much better without her lush of a dad around. Now she's constantly busy since we're back with my family. She is literally *THRIVING*.

Money is a problem but when isn't it? It's ironic because when we were with my H who made a lot of $ (or at least more than I did!) we had no money for anything. He just gave me grocery$. I remember asking for $ for my car insurance & my personal creditcard bill & it was like pulling a molar. Even though the 2 bills equaled less than $100. UGH He always said I could never manage without his income. LOL Since I've left him I'm only working 32 hrs a wk yet now I'm able to buy more things & my bills are never late. Sure we are no longer in a huge house. But now we're in a nice 2 BR townhouse & we're pretty happy. Who needs a big backyard when the beach is just a mile away?

I'm taking 2 classes at the local JC. Getting ready to apply to the RN program this May. My H says he will give me whatever I want in the divorce but he wants 50% custody. My DD is going to be 3 this May & hasn'tever been alone with him but 10 hrs. I have a hard time with this because I don't think he's responsible enough to watch her for more than 2 hrs. Maybe 3-4 *TOPS*. But we'll see how it goes. All I know is we're both happy & live our life the way we want. When we come home we aren't *on guard* & can actually plan out our evenings!

I've gone out on a few dates & man it's fun!!! LOL There are a lot of great guys out there but I'm just not ready for that. To tell the truth I'm so *jaded* where men are concerned. I *KNOW* that I'll never ever re-marry. I'll live with someone but that's it!

Anyhow, just wanted to check in to say hi. Hugs & kisses to Jeepgirl, Mizlizzy, Blueliner & all the oldies that remember me!!!! XOXO, Ruby.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 8:51pm

RUBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Good god, woman!

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 12:59am
Oh, Ruby.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 8:50am
Oh, my gosh, Ruby, you sound so great! I've wondered many times what you were doing, and I was very worried about you. The last time you posted you were sick and distraught. Boy, has that changed!

Just wanted you to know how very happy I am for you!

Hugs,

Jackie

Avatar for buffphone
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 8:52am
Happy Hugs Ruby!!!! It feels like Christmas all over again with all the wonderful news you have to share!!

It's so good to hear you in a better, more sane environment! And DD will grow so much healthier without H being there to hold both of you back.

If you're worried about visitation, let it only be supervised! This way he can't pull any pranks and if he tries then there is someone to keep watch over your DD.

It's sooooo great to hear from you girl!!! Hope we get to hear from you more often!!:)

Happy dances and Hugs around the room!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 10:20am
WOW! Congratulations Ruby! I was also thinking about you lately since we haven't *seen* you around. This is wonderful!! I am so happy for you that you finally did it and you sound sooooo happy!

Like Buff said, make visitation supervised if it even comes to that. It doesn't sound as though your stbxh is making any effort at all to see her anyway.

Please be safe.

{{{hugs}}}

jenny

Avatar for azmommy35
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 02-18-2004 - 2:16pm
Hey Ruby ...WOW!! WTG Lady! Sure was great reading this today. Couldn't have a bigger smile on my face. You sound AMAZING!!!! The townhouse/beach sounds great, the classes the RN thing -- U GO GIRL!! You've come a long way AND....the best is yet to come!!!~~gentle hugs and HUGE CONGRATS your way....
Avatar for alwaysagardenia
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 8:37pm
Hugs to all of you strong & beautiful women!!! All of you are what got me thru this & inspired me to do what was right for my DD!

Currently STBX is driving me crazy with phone calls. Saying that I'm *avoiding* his calls. Not letting him speak to his DD. UGH He says he's going to file for FULL CUSTODY now. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I have just enough for my rent/bills & a bit extra for DD & I to have fun. But whatever happens I will *FIGHT* the best I can. He can only *hurt* her. UGH

But thanx so much for the support! Would've replied sooner but had a good friend staying with us for a few days & somehow she crashed my computer! LOL I just got it running again last night! LOL Don't know what button she pushed but my gawd it was impossible to get it online!!! 2 funny!

It was great to hear from all of you oldies! I think about all of you quite a bit! Uhoh, DD is calling. Better get. Will write again real soon. I love all of you! XOXO, Ruby

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 8:49pm

Rubes, email me!


CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for itsgoodtobeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 12:21am
I am so happy for you. I just got back online right now and was hoping that you were here. I am jumping up and down with happiness for you and your dd. Your STBX just wants to get to you he wouldn't last 10 hours with her alone. I'm glad you are out planned the way you wanted it or not you are out. And isn't it funny the situation you were in so many times and that one was the one you knew it was time to go. It just hits you one day that not ever again. Your home sounds lovely and the beach my kids would love it. HUGS and Prayers to you and your dd. WAY TO GO.>Jo
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 1:01am

JO!


Welcome back, sweetie!

CL-Blueliner4

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