Just a little update

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Just a little update
2
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 2:30pm
Well just a little update I haven't posted on here in awhile about myself. Things have been so so could be worse i guess. This week end we had his son who is 6 and that is usually when crap hits the fan. We got rid of the fish and SO asked me to clean the fish tank out so I did while he and his son went somewhere. Well they got back at about 8:30 at night and by that time the fish tank was cleaned out and I already had most of my cookies baked. Earlier in the night I asked his son if he wanted to help me at the dinner table and his son shook his head no at the dinner table and said but If I change my mind I will let you know. So I just went about made the cookies and what not. When they got home his son said but I said I would help you. And I said "You told me no so I made them with out you". Well his dad just went off on a little tantrum and said "See you think your so important that you can even listen to a child". I could have swore his son said he did not want to help me, so now I am second guessing myself. Well then they were putting some new pets in the fish tank and apparently I must have chipped it when I was washing it out on the corners and oh ny gosh you would have thought I killed his son. Well to make a long story short he yelled at me sayinf if his son would have cut himself he would have given me to black eyes. I honestly did not know I chipped it! He was yelling how could you not know, you just think your so dam important! he frustrates me so much. I just wish ( I keep saying this I know) that things would just be normal again. Where I wouldn't feel like i had to walk on eggshells. I was even afraid to tell him that i chipped a toothe because you know we have spent so much money on my teeth already. My insurance covers 80% and to him that just isn't good enough. I mean he gets all of his dental covered for so I mean heaven for bid we have to spend money on me. I would really love a new pair of contacts instead of wearing my glasses all the ime but he seems to think I don't need them I have my glasses and tht should be good enough! Its just so frustrating sometimes. I know I need to leave him but when things go good I hang on to that for too long. Thanks for letting me come here and vent!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 2:43pm

Smoothie, first off you would KNOW if you chipped a fish tank.

CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 11:36am
Yeah I am starting to notice how the focus is back on me. He wants me to write up a legal thing for his lawyer telling him what i have said to his X and at the end explain why I lied that I lied about things because I was jealous of his son. At one time and this is really sick on my half I think I was but not sure. Actually now that i wrote that I don't think it was jealousy I think it was I am frustrated because his son treats me like crap sometimes and I would just get so frustrated. I mean when things were good If I were to even cuddle up next to his dad his son would have to push his way through and look at me like "Who do u think u are". My abuser is not very affectionate to begin with so it was kind of nice when he would show his affection towards me! So Sorry I am just rambeling here. I am just getting annoyed here and think I actually have to make a plan now. Its the going through with it. I have been talking to someone else I know who left her abuser 5 or 6 times before she finally left for good. I am just very greatful i have eveyones support here! Thanks a bunch. Oh yeah just to clairify he is just my Fiance' not husband. So glad I have not married him!