just need some advise/is this abuse

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2003
just need some advise/is this abuse
3
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 9:45am
I am not sure what is happening here.I got married 1 1/2 yrs ago to who I thought was my soul mate.We were happy for a little while then he just seemed to start being controlling and angry.I feel like in my relationship I have to walk on egg shells,He askes me to do things but they are never rght or done the way he would do them.

A few days ago he got so angry he grabbed my arms and put me against the wall and held my chin so I would look at him. He said he was just trying to get my attention.

He has gotting so angry he has thrown things in my direction called me names I can't even utter. He now blames me for the way things are going and he say's I am mean and cold hearted because I am so angry at the way he has been treating me. We have gone to counseling appointments for him to turn around and quit.He yells at everything, last night he couldn't find socks so he emptyed all of his dresser drawers on the floor then left for work.I am not sure what to do here,he is starting to make me feel like this is all my fault. any advise would be gratful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 10:04am
are you dating my x? he used to do the same thing w/the drawers. he would throw everything out of them and when he got home he would fuss at me till i picked it up. yes, this is abuse. go to the home page and read up on it. it'll give you more insight to your situation. you said you tried counseling? so did i. it never worked and never does. it will only get worse. he doens't even realize he has a problem. he is blaming you instead. this is what abusers do. i hope you don't blame yourself like i used to. b/c this isn't your fault. it's his fault and his problem. you can post here as much as you like. these women are very helpful and will point you in the right direction. they helped me leave my h. just stay strong and please go to the homepage and read read read!!! it's so much easier to deal w/this problem when you know what you are working with. good luck

mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2003
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 10:08am
thank you for that advise, I will go to the home page and read up on this.I am at witts end i was blaming myself for it all but I have become numb.As my counselor says I have built a brick wall so I won't get hurt anymore
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Wed, 03-31-2004 - 10:15am
I agree w/what Mel told you.