Just one more thing......

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2005
Just one more thing......
2
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 5:08am
One more thing, in addition to previous post: when STBX woke up at 1:00AM, I was on the boards at iVillage. He passed by our computer chair, which has a flexible sit-back position and I fell back with the chair. Not off the chair, but back. It took me off guard. Did he say anything? No. I told him, you nearly knocked me off the chair. He said "I nearly fell." Okay, dismiss the fact that I was nearly knocked off. He's a great guy, isn't he?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 1:02pm

I have seen this kind of behavior before. It is kind of like he feels he needs to punish you, and wants to let you know you shouldn't even dream of getting any sympathy or respect from him. I would guess that as the time nears, the pace is going to pick up. It is only the beginning of October so things could get very nasty by late November. Be careful. If you can get him out now or get out yourself, perhaps you should consider it. Even if it wasn't to turn into anything but petty little slights, I am willing to bet it will become pretty unbearable by December and you don't need the added stress. He's kind of made it clear he isn't going to be civil or reasonable from here on out.

I would also guess that further actions regarding custody, visits, property, whatever you may have planned are going to get kind of ugly, speaking from my own experience. Be ready for a fight and be sure to get your hands on the important documents now, or at least make copies.

I am sorry to hear you are going through this but things WILL get better. Lots of hugs and stay strong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Sun, 10-02-2005 - 2:47pm
my stbx did these things too when he knew the end was near and it stressed me beyond belief. When I got upset or approached him about his behaviour he just fluffed it off or told me I was imagining it and was crazy. Then he began to tell everyone else that I was crazy too. He would torment me with things ie porn, hiding things, ruining my personal stuff and yet maintained a "normal" appearance to everyone else, played the victim. My opinion is to leave now, I didn't and the torment escaladed until he exploded. The turmoil I let myself and my children go through was not worth staying in the house. He did get worse and the events scarier. Go now. My stbx did these things to hurt me and even though the children were around he made very sure that they were not aware of what is happening. Reinforcing his "crazy" accusations. It almost drove me there and certainly affected my health negatively.
A year later he still tries to make life miserable and make me "pay" for leaving. Everything from custody to property. But I try not to let it bother me. I don't have to live that way and neither do you.