Just venting and worrying

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Just venting and worrying
3
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 9:58am
Hello all

I have come to a point in life, where time is actually standing still and I have the opportunity to make a decision. I have been offered the wide, familiar road...or the narrow, small road. What I mean is...I have the opportunity to divorce H right now. We havent been living together for about 3 weeks now and the feelings have been fading from before then. But, here is what i'm passing up:

He is looking at buying a big, beautiful house with the works, getting himself a newer car (while offering to pay my car note every month as well) and tells me that we will have enough income coming in, so I wont have to work anymore. Wow! What more could I ask for,huh? But, no...material things only look good...they don't make up for mistreatment from the past. He has "changed" and I can see the difference. But, I still have gut feelings that tell me to watch out. He hasnt put his hands on me since 2002. He controls his jealousy...but that is the problem...he has to control it. If only he wasnt a jealous man at all, I wouldnt have to worry. So, I can pass up all the luxuries of life and be a single mom, happier knowing that I can do as I please and not worry what someone else's perception is. My true worry is finding a job that can support myself and my child. Oh...and I hate to be alone..but who doesnt? So...I am stuck and would love to be on my own and I know its scary out there but maybe I can do it. Is anyone else going through such times?

strength76

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 10:37am
Yes, I 've been through this same exact thing before, and you need to leave. Here is your chance!! Get OUT!!!

This is just part of the cycle.

Stay strong!! You are venting and worrying for a reason. Your gut is gold, GET OUT!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 2:55pm

Hi strength, welcome back -


This is a baiting technique.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Tue, 08-31-2004 - 2:58pm
Thank you all for your replies and advice. We are filing divorce papers but using the 60 days to give it one last shot, before divorce is final. I guess my mind is pretty much made up and this time I feel my gut reaction is going to win. As time goes by, I feel less worried about the future and my self-esteem is growing. This one last shot...is partly because I want to...and partly because everytime we start some paperwork about the divorce, he tries to win me back. I am so tired of arguing...and so this last try is both to keep the peace, and to make 100% sure. The times of abuse were so small in my marraige, but through knowledge and talking on this board, I realize that even one act of violence is too much. But I feel my future is right around the corner. And I am holding on tight to my beliefs and strenghts because thats all I have left.

strength76