Just when i think

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Just when i think
9
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 5:00pm
Just when i start to get comfotable things go BAM! I am sorry for not posting for awhile but things were going so well and it just seemd like right when i get comfortable and i think god life is great! He is back at it again. Saturday he slept all day no big deal he didn't feel well. Well a couple weeks before that he gave me $120 to buy new clothes, well on thursday we went to sams club and they had shoes ther so i got new shoes told him I would give him the $25 for them because i had money left over, we just put the shoes on my credit account at Sams. So then I just figured that it would be OK to my some more pants for wotj with the 25 I still had. Anyway Saturday out of the blue he says "So whaen do you plan on giving me that money for the shoes". And I said "Oh i just assumed you didn't want it because we put it on the charge card". " I can't ever trust you with money, here you go lying once again"! I was dumbfounded because that whole day was nice because he slept and I even laid down with him for an hour so I was shocked with his behavior! Then the degrading starts and of course I start crying because it has been awhile since he has said such awful things to me. Told me I had to quit my sniffiling and feeling sorry for myself. Then he said he was suprised that i haven't tried killing myself and so on. I am just still so shocked I don't understand him. I also think he is smoking Marjuana again but can't prove it or tell if he is. So Sunday I am gone all day and as soon as I get home he says "I have to go I will be back later". He was going to go work on a friends computer or something. He called at 5:50 pm said I am done with the computer I am just going to sit here for a little bit and talk with his friend. No big deal I was doing homework anyway. I went to bed at 9 he still wasn't home. Heard him come in at 11 pm! I woke up this morning to a nice bouquet of flowers! I call him later today and he is kind of rude! I just don't get it! Thanks for letting me vent
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 6:09pm

Oh, you'll know if he's smoking out again.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 6:12pm

You are feel free to come here and vent anytime hun!

5yrssm 
Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 9:39pm
I am at home and I read your responses I just sit here and cry. It valentines eve and I don't know where he is. It just drives me insane sometimes. But i think this is exactly what he wants sometimes. Its been awhile since I have felt like this...so empty. then it gets me questioning myself on what have I done that was so wrong? I don't know girls I am just babbeling here, I also just got done watching "The Notebook" what a classic to be watching by myself on a night like this. He said he was going to the bank...that was an hour an a half ago. I did try smelling his clothes and I couldn't tell, but I notice his jacket smelled like his cologone like he sprayed it on there or something. Oh good greef. thanks for listening and thanks for welcoming me back!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 10:31pm
You're not babbling at all.
5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 5:30am

Hi

i can't add anything but the good advice of the other posters. When I read your message, it id make me feel annoyed (not at you...) but the classic "I can degrade her when i so choose, then BUY her back with flowers" attitude you described.

Take care of yourself xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 9:28am
I *hated* always being accussed of lying! THAT made me almost the maddest of anything! Hugs to you, R

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 11:02am
I know my ex would accuse me of being with another man, because I wouldn't kiss him when I was sick w/strep throat.
5yrssm 
Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:04pm
Yes he has said those things to me that i never iniate the sex or anything, well who really wants to when you are being alled bad names and what not. He came home about a half an hour later last night and right away he jumped in the shower. so when he was in the shower I went over in the closet to where his jacket was and it smelled of Pot! I wasn't suprised though because like I said I kind of suspected it anyway. I guess i just kept thinking he was a changed man and what not. I don't know why I am taking it so personal that he is doing it again because it isn't me the one with the problem, it just hurts more and more everytime. He was so nice when he got home to, I stayed up with him until almost 11, but honestly i wasn't enjoying myself. he came in and put his arms around me when i went to bed and said " I thought i would come in here and lay with you for a few minutes to make you feel better". WHatever! I don't feel anything anymore when he does those things anymore. Today I am just mad and pissed off not feeling the pain anymore just mad! thanks again for letting me come back
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2001
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:32pm
I am on a roll today. Have had Depression for the last 12 years. Great when you give it a name. Like ADV, Alternatives to Domestic Abuse. Anyway, ex controlled me for 25 years. I was a Domestic Engineer (home maker, hate HOUSEWIFE), from the beginning. (I now think women should look at this as a job with benefits and a contract).
Anyway, I never spent money on myself just for the family and the house. I was a very good wife, I did everything inside the house and every thing out side (two jobs). If I billed him for 25 years of services he couldn't afford back pay. One thing I would like to pass on is that you would be surprised if you start going to yard sales, coupons (use at store, pay bill and then put what you saved in bank account. I started this from the beginning because I never knew when I would be kicked out of my house with no money. I did this for 4 yrs and saved $6,000 without him finding out and when he did he said I stole from him, go figure.) Anyway, I have gone to swap meets and yard sales (nice areas) and over the last 30 years have everything second hand. For example, need appliances, have them all but not from stores. How about a electric opener for wine, 1 buck. Anyway, when I moved last year I took everything and if I don't mind saying myself I made I nice place for myself. The money issue was the end. I was given an allowance and told how I could spend it. After putting up with all his c..., abuse, violent rages, name calling, holes in the houses, towards me I left and don't think I have yet woken up. Depression is something to watch out for and panic attacks. Hey, you are probably wonder where this is all coming from, I know I am. I hope some of this helps because it sure has for me. Let you go, take care and don't give up nor give in........Luv.,.....Sherry