just wondering
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just wondering
| Sat, 06-18-2005 - 11:23pm |
If some one posts something here, and they post that they have done something really dangerous, I don't think it helps the person in the long run not to say something to them.In my opinion, there is a way to say that some one has done something dangerous without attacking the person. Sometimes when I have an issue that is really confusing me, I would rather post it on a debate board, because there it seems like the feedback is more real and more honest, even if it is a bit rougher, it forces me to really think things out. Sometimes I feel the support boards are too syrupy and too limiting-and I think that actually does a disservice to certain people. Although they can be very informative, like the boards that deal with specific health issues have a lot of great info.

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Hi Rayny,
I think ivillage is extraordinarily concerned with not hurting someone's feelings which, in turn, lends itself to an atmosphere of sympathy under the guise of "support" rather than being open and honest with opinions.
I've seen it happen here, even on the abuse boards where women need to be very upfront with eachother... it's a shame, really.
I happen to like your posts - you lay it out in a no-bs kind of way and you say exactly what you mean. You're clear and don't hold back when you see something worth noting.
I appreciate it.
Agreed.
Keep it up, rayny :)
From Go-Quiz.com
Hi Rayny,
I haven't been able to get to this board as much as I used to and I'm not familiar with any incident. As far as this support board goes, as well as many others, people come here in many stages of what they are going through. With the dynamics of abuse, many people come here for validation, encouragement and yes, a little sympathy. Abuse rips away your self-esteem to a point that you think you no longer matter. You feel alot of paranoia and everything that happens is your fault.
If somebody would have started a debate with me when I first came here I would not have been able to handle it. The words of encouragement I received helped me immensely. So what may appear as syrupy to you may be just what the other person needs.
Support boards are not debate boards and trying to open someone's eyes when they are in denial of a situation takes some doing. The goal here is to make that person feel better about theirselves and hopefully give them a little more leverage to get their feet on the ground so they can make some positive moves to regain the happy life they deserve.
Terry
Well, Rayny, it's kind of like TV programming.
Mama Harmony
Dealing With Domestic Abuse Board Website
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