Ky Jelly ?
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| Thu, 01-12-2006 - 11:29am |
I have posted before. Nowadays being sad is not new at all
We had another counsellor session... Pretty bad one, he kept
saying that I am the reason for what he is today. I have been so
supportive of him, the first year of the marraige, when he did not
have a Job,when he was going thru anxiety attending interviews and taking
anxiety pills. He used to tell me that he is not able to perform well
and ask me to have patience.. I was sorry for him. Never said anything,
but enouraged him that it is Ok. There is no pressure.
In this session, he bought up a new thing meaning to say that I
am not good for sex. We used KY jelly, while trying to conceive. He is
telling the counsellor that I had problems, and we had to use Ky jelly.
It hurts so much to hear that, he thinks I had sexual problems... and
still, he had a baby with me, and is now saying hurtful things. I just wish
I am dead. This is my second marraige. I have a 7 month daughter and I am
unable to cope with a lot of things hurting me..
I had earlier read articles about getting pregnant, what should be done, when to
do and what to use and all that. Among those, using alkaline KY jelly was also
suggested, if the pregnany is planned and I wanted to have a baby soon as I
am already 30. I did not know that using KY means that I am sexually incapable.. :-(
I am not ready for a break up yet.. but I am just zoning off with these thoughts..
and cannot deal with this..

Thanks for the response. But he has been telling the counsellor
that I have been yelling and abusing him since the beginning and
he is twisting things around so much that he mixes up 2 different
discussions.. I am actually afraid to call DV hotline.. he might do
things more worse for me. and will calling dv hotline affect my baby in any way,
will CPS get involved ?
Thanks for your support
Spea
Hi hppy.....
I am one of the former CL's of this board and after reading this post I had to reply to it.
Agree, agree, agree.
CLIP :
IF YOU DO THIS IN FRONT OF YOUR ABUSER, YOU ARE HANDING THEM THE BULLETS TO THE PROVERBIAL GUN. If you say A, B, C bothers me, that’s telling the abuser that they are being successful and they will continue on with it. They also may retaliate for it.
The above is Sooo true. Its not just before the counsellor, but always. He says I am the
one always wrong in this relation - like I don't communicate(it seems,) and when I communicate he turns it into argument, and yells.. does not stop at anything. Until I call him stupid or some other bad word.. and then he is happy, smiles with satisfaction.
And tells the counsellor that I said bad words to him... :-( Its as if he wants me to be
a bad person..
More than that, if I told him ALL
that hurts me, and unbeleivably, he does those again and again , with
a diferent reason for why he did it. and listens to me as if its the first time
he is listening to me talk. Tells me he does not want to hurt me.. but cycle repeats..
with a different excuse...
Anyways.. I am almost on the verge of making a decision to leave. Not right away. But I
need some strength and preperation time to get my mind together before I leave. But I
am almost there with the decision. I have made a appointment alone with the counsellor
to tell her my opinion.. If he wants to work it out, I will stay for a few more
months. But I am positive that he will not stick to being nice.. Just a matter of time
for me to walk out with my baby :-(
I can not explain the pain I go through thinking of my daughter seeing either me or him one at a time for the rest of her life and not having a normal life. I am a terrible person to have a daughter.. when things are so bad.. But its all over now. I will try to get things going..
Thanks for your support..
I will keep you posted
Spea
What *I* woudl like to say to your H is that KY Jelly is used for lubrication. Some women just physically dont lubricate well. OTHER women dont lubricate well if they are TURNED OFF .... maybe he needs to think about THAT!