Making Plans to Get Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Making Plans to Get Help
4
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 1:20am
Hi,

I haven't posted here in a long time. Things have escalated a lot lately and I know that the time is now at hand when I must take action. It will either be that I call the police and have him arrested, I leave to go into a shelter (and make arrangements for my cats), or perhaps I will have to do both. If he is arrested, I know that I will need to get a R.O. against him. He is so malicious towards me. I never did anything to him to deserve the things he is now doing to me! He has threatened to disfigure me, and to kill me. The verbal abuse alone is bad enough. I am under so much stress due to my job situation. Still working for the company that has gone out of business, but not knowing one day to the next when the final check will be handed out! I want to start my Notary business (and perhaps an Errand Service later on), but having to deal with the situation at home is consuming all of my energy resources. He tries to suck all of the joy out of my life! I feel like I am living with Satan himself. When he wakes up from his sleep and starts in on me, I'm sure he has had another one of his nightmares. When his behavior is "out of control" he is capable of ANYTHING. That is what scares me the most. I am scared to be living with him and scared to be in the car with him (I'm the driver). I will keep posting here as often as I can in the coming days.

Barbara

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 8:42pm

Hi Barbara,


Sorry this has escalated to this point.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 12:19am
Hi,

I'm hoping to be able to call a shelter tomorrow to make plans for my cats now. If I know that I have a place for them where they can stay for as long as it takes me to get out of my situation, then I'll go ahead and put them there right now. Then I can just leave at any time to go to a shelter and get help.

One thing worries me. If he hits me and I hit him back in self-defense, could the police arrest me, too? I ask this because he has very thin skin. Many times before when I have hit him in self-defense, it breaks the skin and he starts to bleed, and it ends up looking worse than it really is. Usually, the only marks on me will be bruises and pinch marks (he's a sadistic pincher!).

I need to look into the R.O. this week, too. There's a legal aide with WINGS who can help me take care of that in court.

Barbara

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 12:35pm
unfortunately, yes, you can be charged unless you can absolutely prove that it is self-defence. you really need to get out of there fast. Don't hit back, just run honey.

Love and Hugs,

Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 1:12pm

I agree with Stoon, don't hit back, just get out of there, unless you are in a truly life-threatening position.


Also, if it happens while driving (I know that's a favorite of his), drive right to the police station.

A friend will help you move.

CL-Blueliner4