Maybe I'm Crazy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011
Maybe I'm Crazy
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 4:55pm

This is something I keep thinking about writing on my blog, but I think it would hurt my husband too much. But, I keep wondering if this is how it is like with everyone. And, maybe this is TMI.

My ex-husband, despite how sadistic and evil he was, and I had an amazing sex life when we were fighting. When he was trying to win me over after I filed for divorce and when we first got together, it was seriously mind-blowingly amazing. In between those times, we would go long period without or it was so bad that I would just stare at a clock, waiting for it to end. But, it seemed that all that anger and hostility made it really good. Kinda weird, huh?

And, now, I'm in a great marriage and the sex is good, but it doesn't have that same "i hate you and love you at the same time" intensity. Is weird to miss that? I mean, I would never cheat on my husband, or ever think about sleeping with my ex again, but I have caught myself trying to pick fights just for that type of sex - but being the reasonable person my hsuband is - he won't get goaded into fights and "talks it out" instead of doing angry make-up sex. Very rational.

Am I alone in this experience?