Mind Games and Stress

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mind Games and Stress
1
Wed, 07-26-2006 - 11:39pm

I am comming here because i really need help. I have been married now for 2 years and I have 4 children from a previous Relationship.

When My H and Me got with each other it was everything, he said the nice words and wanted to be with me all the time and basically i did no wrong at all.

After being married now for 2yrs I feel at times I live in a Prision. He has bouts of anger where he has broke many items in our home and around it as well.. On several occasions he has pushed me or grabbed me or simply threw me down.... Not to mention his Yelling while he is upset and angry.....

My H and Me fight over anything and everything from the kids wanting to sleep with us or simply im not a good mother and i let my kids walk all over me.... It has gotten to the point my youngest would rather stay with his Grandparents then to be in our home and will not sleep here at night..

Recently My H has started little mind games with me such as a night out with friends and a few drinks he seems to think im drunk enough to either take advantage of me or to think im so drunk that he will try to convince me that im sleeping with someone else and it isnt him during making love....

I have Many times caught him on this and told him never to do it again and also that I dont like when he pushed him self onto me when i say No,,,, he swears that dont count as rape when its your spouse..

I have no friends because the ones I do have he has more less scared off because of the way acts or treats me or on several occasions put the moves on them and made them not fill comfortable around him or in my home.....

My H Snoops through my things and has taken many items and made me think they have been stolen he is not allowed in his parents home nor mine by himself due to things missing and that plays a role on me not being able to trust him.....

he now has gotten to the point i am not allowed to go to my parents unless its for a few min and thats it and He has to know my wear abouts at all times including with who and how long and when he calls home is first question is who is there?

He is a very mind playing person and will convince anyone that he does all this because he loves me and wants me in his life... Many times he will cry to me and say he is sorry and he will change things and of course it dont yeah things are good for about 2 weeks then back at the same game..

I have recently admitted to my parents that my H hits me and that i want out and I dontw ant to be married to him anymore,,,, instead of my parents guding me out instead my H went to them and convinced them he can change and that he Loves me Dearly now i truly feel alone..........

I have on many occasions suggested a marriage counselor but his response was it cost to much money and he dont need someone to tell him our problems.... I have sat him down and told him he needed to change or i was leaving and of course he just laughs becuase he knows i have no place to go and im stuck here... i dont have any place here in the state we live in to go not with 4 kids.....

all i know is im tired of trying im tired of fighting and arguing and the items getting broke and cant take another time of him getting so mad and throwing me down, pushing me or hitting me... and i dont want to set bad examples for my kids and have them grow up thinking thats how Love is suppose to be.....

I have tried my best to make my parents understand that this relationship will not work and will get worse and I could even possibly loose my kids if there dad ever found out what typ of enviorment they live in and are around... Nothing works they love there grandkids more then life itself and the thought of us leaving state kills them so they much rather see us stay here and me put up with this and tell my self it will get better then to see us go or help us go in anyway..

We have only one car and I get drove just about everywhere i have to go and saving money well thats a joke I cant even go to the restroom by myself so thats about usless my parents are my own hope out and i cant get them to understand

I need some urget advice on what to do and how to do it before its too late and my sanity is gone.... Please Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 4:02pm
it is a sad situation and im sorry you are going through it.but for your kids sake you have to leave. i am a mother of five and i am 28 years old. maybe your parents will take you seriously if you show up at their house with a small bag and the kids pleading that they let yall in and not call your husband.i dont understand why they would want you to stay in such an unsafe enviroment.stay in prayer and respond so that i know how things are going. we are not face to face friends but we can talk back and forth for support