minor slip up.hope I stay on right track
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| Mon, 10-16-2006 - 8:13am |
Sorry for so long need to get this all out. Well I had a minor slip up. I made the mistake of talking to my ex because he said he wants to be friends which led to me hanging out with him. He said he didnt want a relationship right know and wanted to see if we could work things out. My stupid a** agreed thinking things would work out because he was being so nice and easy to get along with. In the back of my head I kept thinking to myself why is he being so nice what does he want. We were actually getting along for once which is wierd.
First things first he changed his cell number about a month ago because he didnt want me to call him anymore so I have no way to contact him at all. This was before we started hanging out agian. Long story short we got into an arguement then he hung up and changed his number. THen a couple hours later calls me blocking his number to talk to me. He has been calling me from a blocked number up until yesterday. We started to hang out more and more than like clock work he started to act like himself once again. He started to get mad over little things. For example if I said I didnt want to hang out with him one nite because I had plans or just want to stay home that he could call me later. He would say fine that he is going out and he doesnt know when he will call me back. I am thinking why cant he just say fine and not make a big deal and just call later like a normal person. Whatever. Then on Friday we hung out went to dinner and a movie then he came over to my house. We were up pretty later watching tv and about 2:30 a guy friend of mine called to say hi he was still out with friends. My ex started getting angry wanting to know why this guy was calling so late and that he wouldnt care if he would have called at a normal time. He made me call him back to find out why he called. I did and said right in front of my ex that I was hanging out with my ex to my guy friend to justify myself. Why? I have no clue because my ex has had many late nite phone calls from many different women in the past. But for some reason it was ok beause they were just his friends. He threw a little fit wouldnt come to bed then after I went upstairs and fell asleep he wants to come upstairs and tells me to take him home. Then he changes his mind and stays. Then again on Sat nite he wants to hang out and I say I am not sure what I want to do he gets angry and says he is going out with friends and doesnt know when he will call agian. At this point I am so sick of this. We were just suppose to be friends because that is what he wants so why all this mess. He calls yesterday after his nite out and wants to know what I did. I said nothing then he starts with the I know u went out where did u go. I told him I went to the store then out with my sister and her boyfriend he get immediately angry says that I was hanging out with that guy that called the nite before and says he is not hanging out with me tontie and does know when he will call again. I am so pissed and sick of this manipualted behavior. I just cant take this back and forth crap and more. He is not my BF and we were suppose to be friends that might try and work things out. I realised that will never happen. He will never change or treat me right. It is always my fault and I will never get what I want out of this even if were are just friends. That is why we cant be friends I figured out. I changed my number within minutes of his phone call. Now there is no way for him to call me or me to call him. He has my work number and tried to call a couple times but I hung up right away and made the guys I work with tell him I am not here. I am done. For good I hope. I just cant understand why he just cant be normal. Act like a normal person. Like show affection or attention, show love, give me respect, do things to show he loves me, be caring considerate, not get angry over ever little thing, and when he gets angry why does he always tell me he so done or doesnt want to talk to me or doesnt know when he will call agian. What is the point if u are just going to call again later. I mean if you want to be angry or need time to urself fine there is no need to say or do all those mean things. It is to upseting and leave me wondering where I stand and if we are really over. In the past he was abusive to me as well so I dont even know why I fall back into the trap. He was verbal and very phsycal with me which many times left me bruised up and very scared. I hope this is the end for this. I just cant do it anymore. I look at my sister and see how her BF treats her. So loving and considerate of her feelings. He goes out of his way to make her fell comfortable and secure. He does things without looking what is in it for him and doesnt care if he gets anything in return except a smile on her face. I want that and I look at what she has and I would rather be alone for right know and have hope that I can have that one day then stay another day in my difunctional relationship that I had. Like I said I have no way to call him and the only number he has is my work line and I hope he takes a hint. I think he will this time leave me alone. I hope anyway.
| Mon, 10-16-2006 - 10:55am |


