more problems......

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
more problems......
2
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 12:11pm
I have to get this off of my chest before I EXPLODE!!!! Where do I start!? First of all we (meaning my husband and my son) are going to loose everything!!!!! We are so backed up in our bills it’s not even funny!!!! I recently found out that the money that I have been giving my husband for bills were not used for the bills but for his own selfish things such as BEER, NEW SHOES, NEW CLOTHES and so forth and so on. Meanwhile my son and I have been wearing the same crap that we've had for months and months. And it's been really difficult for me becuase I am 6 months preg and alot of my clothes don't fit!!!! Now, just a couple of days ago, we lost our phone. Then yesterday I found a 3-day shut off notice for our electric tucked under some other stuff, (found it by accident cause I was cleaning). Called the company and we owe more then what we made this week. We have no savings account or back up money. To add to this all, we receieved a 10-day shut off notice for the gas!!!! Ohhhh and to make it even worse…..we are 2 weeks late on our rent!!! Which we have enough money THANK GOD to pay it today when I get out of work. I just can’t believe this. How could I have been so dumb into thinking he was “taking care of everything” We will not have enough money to pay for both the rent and the light bill. With me working only partime and getting paid every two weeks. It hasn’t been enough. But I can’t go full time where I’m at because there is no position open. And for him to get a second job, is totally out of the question cause he won’t do it. And I can’t get one cause he won’t watch the baby and I don’t have anyone else to do it. Plus I’m 6 months preg and working plus taking care of a year and a half old son plus ALL of the house work, there is no way that I would make it thru another job. And what will we do this week for gas so that we can get to work?!?!?!? I don’t know what to do……….
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
In reply to: elm06
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 1:42pm

Oh, geez. Well, in the long term, you know that he will have to go, or it will be more of the same. But, let's worry about the short term. I would begin by contacting churches in your area; many of them have emergency assistance programs. Also, contact local social service agencies; I know exactly zero about that, but I'm sure they have emergency programs also.

Once you get through the immediate crisis, don't give him any more of your money if you can avoid it at all. Try to take care of the bills yourself. And, work on a plan to either get him out of the house or get out yourselves, because this is just a taste of what's coming if you don't. Your local DV shelter will be of help here, and they may even be able to help you find emergency assistance.

Another thing- try contacting the utility companies and explaining what happened. They may agree to accept partial payments, especially with you being pg. Some utilities also have assistance programs. Again, let them know you're pg- the phone and power companies in particular may be able to help, since that's a medical condition.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
In reply to: elm06
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 1:54pm

Thanks for replying back to me. I really do appriciate your insight and your honesty. I have tried to apply for government help but since I am married we make too much to get help. But the thing they don't know is that he spends it all. I took your advice and I called the Electirc compnay and said that I was preg, they knock off a few dollars so that will help a little bit. Thanks again!!!

Why am I struggling with leaving him or kicking him out?? Why is it so easy to say in my mind that "she's right I should do that" but when I'm there with him I just keep taking it. It's scares me somtimes to think that somthing REALLY terrible has to happen for me to get my butt in gear. Somtimes I think that I'm my own enemy.