more scared now than before
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| Thu, 05-27-2004 - 3:14pm |
My H and I were married two years ago after I became pregnant, we bought a house together and it goes downhill from there.
It is impossible to have a discussion with H even about the littlest of things without him blowing up. When he gets angry, it's like he just explodes, there is no gradual build up or frustration signs that warn me he's getting mad, he just gets mad like flipping a light switch on. He stands over me with his face inches from mine (his face turns red, veins pop out and the look in his eyes are that of a wild animal)and screams at the top of his lungs calling me names, out of insticts I put my hand out to keep him away from me, he hits my hand out of the way or he'll go so far as to say that I'm hitting him and to not touch him or he'll call the police (he only started reacting that way after I called the cops on him once) He spits in my face, he throws things at me; glasses, baby gates or what ever happens to be near him at the time. He has thrown me down on the ground or slammed me into the cabinets, he's ripped all the phones out of the walls when I try to call the police, when I say I'm leaving he takes all the car keys and even goes out and disables the cars. I have said things to him that I'm not so proud of and he says that it's my fault that he does get that angry, although he'll deny ever touching me. He put his hand around my hand one time and hit it on my mouth, my teeth cut thru my lip and to this day he says that he did not hit me because it was my hand that hit my face. I'm so frusterated that he can't see that he has a serious problem with his anger. I try to be strong during the fights I yell back and have hit him back a few times, I do this hoping that he would see that he doesn't intimidate me(although he does) and that maybe he would just give up, but he won't. I talked him into going to counceling once and once was all he went, he says he doesn't have time. He calls throughout the days to check up on me and if I don't answer the phone right away I'm interigated as to why. If I'm at the store longer than he thinks is a sufficient time I'm interigated again, when I'm on the phone: who am I talking to, when I'm on the internet he stands over me watching, He has continuously told me that everything is his, the house cars whatever you name it, because he works and I stay home with our son. I could go on and on and I feel so stupid for staying with him for as long as I did and I don't want this life for our son. So I left last week and filed papers (I'm waiting for the judges approval) Now I'm even more scared of what his reaction is going to be to the papers. I also know that he is going to try and say that I'm the abusive one and that I cause everything. What scares me most is that he has the ability to fool people into believing that he is this wonderful guy? Will the judge be able to see thru him and see him for what he really is? Help from anyone would be wonerful. Good luck to everyone.

Welcome to the board, imagin4me.
Peace and hugs,
Cheryl =)
The minute you settle for less than you