Moving on...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Moving on...
4
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 2:12pm

I know this will be different for everyone, but how long did it take for you to move on with your life?

I filed for divorce 6 months ago but it isn’t final yet. My counselor wants me to start to move on but I don’t feel ready yet. I am quiet, shy and just have a difficult time socializing. I know I need to start but I am feeling overwhelmed, anxious and depressed. My world consists of my mom, dad, grandma and my son. I am so use to being alone and isolated, but I know it is not healthy.

At work, I joined an activities committee and even though I think it’s a great opportunity to get involved, I really hate it. I also attend bible study at my church every week and while I have not participated in the discussion, I enjoy hearing others opinions.

I have been trying hard to deal with everything that has happened. I have tried to stay strong for my son's sake. I don't want to add any additional stress to my life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
In reply to: dkm1972
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 8:50pm

WARNING: blatant solicitation for opinions ahead!!!!!


Seriously, I too want to know what folks think about this topic.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
In reply to: dkm1972
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 8:43am
Right now my main concern is just socializing in general, but I know I will have to face the issue of dating some time in the future. I believe my counselor doesn't want me to isolate myself to the point that I let depression get me down or worse that I will go back to my stbx husband because I have no one else. At least those are my 2 biggest fears. I have become a stronger person but I still have a long way to go.
Thank you for the advice about dating though. My son is the #1 man in my life right now. It would be great some day to find some one that could love us both and especially be a positive male role model to my son. We both deserve that.
Thanks again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
In reply to: dkm1972
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 10:24am
Do what you are ready for when you are ready for it. There is no real timeline we need to follow, I for one tried dating after about 8 months and it didnt turn out so well (I wanted friendship/companionship adn he constantly pushed for more) so I took a breather and that was a year ago and I havent really dated since but I did buy a new car, redecorated my house and spent a lot fo great time with my kids. We always feel compelled to be ready but we need to heal at our own pace. I used to worry that I would never be fit for a relationship again until I realized I dont have to be fit for a relationship right now but I am fit for making friends and enjoying life. Socializing is great and it is a step we need to take but if it causes anxiety at all we need to back off andtrust outselves. It sounds like you have a decent handle on what you want and you are making steps to get out and socialize adn if thats what you are comfortable wiht that stick at that. As for the worrying that you will go back to stbx if you are "alone" I would continue to fill your life wiht your family adn your son and remember every day why you left adn that should help take care of that worry.
Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
In reply to: dkm1972
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 10:57am
I don't think there is any real timeline. The most successful approach I have seen is to do whatever you feel you're ready for, whenever you feel you're ready. For me, that was a lot sooner than I think is normal, but I was not particularly in love with my jerk. If one were, the time frame would be a lot longer. It just really depends on your situation.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com