my best friend is scare for his life.
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| Mon, 08-09-2004 - 9:52pm |
let me explain a little and hope to recieve some or any advice. my best friend is a guy/man. he is the niecest person i know. i love him and care about him and his kids so very much. and it hurts me so much to see and hear about what he is going through.
you see he's been married for a long time now and things were okay, until almost 8 years ago, when his wife cheated on him. even when we all knew that she did cheat, she denied everything, saying that it was all his fault. because they have two kids together, he wanted to stay together for the kids. he didn't have a mom, because she past away when is was very little and his dad left them. he keeps telling me that he cannot leave because he want his kids to have what he never had, a family. he want them to have a mom and dad, because he went through so much pain growing up and he promised them he'll never leave them like his parents did.
it breaks my heart, because, she still continue to cheat and whenever he tries to talk about their problems, she gets very abusive. i have seem the stabbed wounds, scars on him. i just cry because he would not report to the police. i asked him that when he went to the hosiptal, i know the nurse do ask about how he got the stab. he told me that he reported it as a m-lawning accident.
he has tried to leave several times, but she would say things to scar him, like "if you leave i'll go mental and i might kill the kids, or if you even tell this to anyone or report to the cops, i will hurt myself and said you did it." she even did this before, when she told the kids to go downstairs and lock their room, she throw an object at his head and it started to bleed, he tried to call the cops, so she hurt herself and said if you call the cops, "i'll show them it was you." that really scaried him, his afriad for his life most of the time. this really scar me and him. i feel so sorry for him and so helpless. i told him that if one day he calls me from the hospital, because of her, i'll report everything. he begged me not to, and that if that should happen again, i just have to pick him up and that's that.
his concerns is that if he tries to leave she'll do something crazy and he doesn't want his kids to suffer. he promised them that he'll protect them unitl the end. i think his children know what's going on around the house, and the oldest one, told him that if he(my best friend) stay, he'll protect him from mom, he'll keep mom away from him. it breaks my heart because his son's not even 10 years old.
my best friend is afriad to close his eyes at night. he doesn't know what she'll do. he said he feels so good to be with his kids, when she is out off the house, that is the only time he can relax. he hide all the knivies, because he gets so nervouse around them.
i see him and for the past several years, she has tormet him so much, i can see it physically and i cry when i look in his eyes. he is so valunerable when it comes to his kids. i know he'll die for his kids, that's how much he loves them. i cried many times for him to leave to get help. he keeps saying if not for the kids, he can leave in just one second, but he's afriad of what she'll do. i'm terrify for him and the kids, because whenver i meet her, she pretent to be this lovely wife who loves her husband. what she doesn't know is that i have seem his stabbed wound and scars. i want to help him, but i don't know how anymore, i don't know how to suppport him morally. i just want to grab the kids and tell him to leave. but i know i cannot.
he is also at a disadvantage, because she controls all the money, his check, his cell phone that she got for him, so she can check on him from time to time. she has him under control so tight, that he cannot move.
he told me that he stay for the kids, he'll do anything for them and i don't understand that. i don't have any kids, but i work with kids everyday, and i tried to reassure him that they will be better off, in this situation. i love him and so afriad for him. i feel like she doesn't care who she hurts. i also see that she wants him only because he doesn't want her anymore, and she knows and even told me that he only stay for the kids.
please help me, because whenever she gets mad at him, she'll kick or hit him on the head, and i cannot be there to keep him safe. he asked me to visit them because he doesn't want to be alone with her. when she asked me over i just deny because i cannot sit and tolerate what is happening in that house. i love him too much, then i get mad because he doesn't want to help himself. he wants to keep her happy, so she won't do anything to the kids, or him. he's afraid she'll take the kids out of state. he doesn't have the money for an atterney and she's seem to be two steps ahead of him. he doesn't want to leave to kids to go to a shelter or anything. he is that scare she'll do something to the kids.
another thing is that, because he is a guy, nooone seem to believe him, that she is caplable of doing this to him, she is alot smaller then him. since noone believes him, he even feels more trap.
along time ago, she used to be so good to him. i cannot believe she is caplable of cutting and hitting him.
please help...

Oh, Kay sweetie, you're such a wonderful friend to want to help him out.
CL-Blueliner4